Drinking, Money for Friends

There have been a lot of drinking "Welcome Parties" in the month that I have lived in Japan, and as fun as they can be and as stupid as they are, one thing is for sure; at 2500 yen or $25 each they really lighten the wallet.

It seems that drinking parties are intergral to the social life of the Japanese (university students, business men, housewives and friends), especially the cornocopia of Waseda's clubs and cirles. Although people do meet each other by sharing the same classes, it's more common to try to make friends by joining a club with people who you share a common interest with. But no matter what club or cirlce you're in, eventually they will have a Nomikai (drinking party) to build community spirit.

I see my host parents have a beer or a glass of wine almost every night with dinner. My Ojiisan certianly loves his strong, cold sake. Every night, coming home on the train, I see salarymen (suit and tie company employees) with red cheeks and noses, sometimes even smell it.

Japan is a drinking culture and since my mother doesn't drink much (except for Bob's martini's, right mom? ^_^) I have not been been raised in a social drinking enviroment.

Sure, sharing a drink with your buddies is cool once in a while. But these all-you-can-drink parties, especially in large clubs like Waseda International Club (WIC), border on almost frenzetic, as people try to drink as much as they can to prove thier strength, out drink each other, and make thier entrance fee worth it. But I've seen too many students so drunk they can barely stand....

What pains me is that I feel like unless I go to the nomikai's it's hard to make friends with the people I've been meeting. I call them for lunch or to go out for the weekend, but often they are busy. I joined the Waseda Illumination project which will decorate some of the campus with lights for December, since I love design and would love even more to meet different people not in WIC. I went to an introduction meeting last Thursday and afterwards they were going to have a drinking party to meet the new members. I thought "No, it's a Thursday and I have school tomorrow, I should go home." But I was halfway home when my ambigous feelings flared up, and when I got home I was angry at myself for walking away from a chance to meet people and make friends, later angry at myself for being such an impatient idiot.

They had another info meeting and party on Friday, so I made that my evening. Yes, it was fun and interesting (though I'm getting tired of giving my self-intoduction...), but the food was very average and I didn't drink much, so even though I meet some people, I ended up regretting that I hadn't been pinching my Soseki's tighter...

I think when it comes down to it, you gotta pay to make and have friends. I once hear from a friend that she didn't want to join a soriety to have to pay to have friends and in Japan, I feel the same way. I don't like going to nomikai's to pay for the opportunity to make friends.

I will keep looking for my own way of making friends without paying an arm and a leg. I've been hanging out in the WIC clubroom at lunchtime, I want to join an Aikido club, and I'll be starting a small, part-time job at Waseda's Biligual Writing Lab (the first in Japan! I didn't know they don't have these... but that's another blog).

I'm still looking for my own way... but I know I'll find it. In the meantime, Thank you for the invitation but I think I'll pass on the Nomikai, thank you.