Sunday, September 23, 2007

thoughts back that press forward

These days I've been thinking about my teacher/program Mom Kasaoka-sensei... I'm sure taht she is... she is being kept very busy with this year's new students (^_^) I wonder what kind of group are at Waseda this year...? How many students are from SF State?
School must have JUST started huh... thinking about the beginnings make me go into flashback mode, haha..... funny, but at the end of my year abroad I felt like I was ready for it to be over, ready to move on and do something else, but now that I look back on the year's events, I wouldn't mind doing it over again, so long that i knew what I know now.

I still feel like it's kinda weird to be actually back here... at first, I was really bored to be just sitting around my parent's house, waiting for school to start, and then nearly in tears because after a month i forgot how fast-paced life in the city can be (>_<) but u know, I can't help comparing my new recent experiences of living on my own in SF to life back in Tokyo. I recently move out of my parent's house and into an apartment with some roommates, closer to SF State so that I don't have to commute to SF. Live on my own isn't always easy (specially when I have to worry about what's for dinner~! ahh, that was the biggest plus for living with my host mom Yumi-san, delicious dinners...) but for better or for worse, I'm really enjoying life here. I think it much easier to live and socialize in SF than in Tokyo. I don't know if that's because this is closer to home for me or whether it's a dynamic related to the cities themselves, but I feel like i can connect easier and deeper to the people I meet here.

of course, I can't be back here without missing familiar relationships... the friends I used to know have left for other places, and sometimes it can be hard to walk around a familiar place that i used to spend time with a certian person....... but as time passes, and I meet new people and can make good memories with new friends, it becomes easier.

This year won't just be a year of hanging out and parties and friends. I have to be very serious about studying because i'm almost done with my Japanese major and I'm beginning to work on a very difficult English major. So much reading to do~~~~~!!! (>_<) I'm beginning to think about what to after I graduate... should i look for work right away or do I want ot go to grad school? Where do i want to go? Japan, California? Somewhere else in the US? Or do I want to try something completely different and go to Europe? Do I have the money to go to grad school?

I can't make any decisions now, and maybe not for another year. But I want to use this year to find and consider all of my options. I want to make a better, more realistic and solid plan for myself. The thought of "just graduate and teach in Japan" doesn't satisfy me anymore. I'm on the search for something better.

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