Written on the plane

Hello! This is what i wrote on the plane before coming to Japan. I should have posted this earlier but i forgot.

Claire
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September 11, 2006 2:46 PM (CA time)

日本にいってきます！I’m off to Japan!

As I sit here on the plane typing this, so many emotions are flying through my heart and mind, filling me and emptying me at the same time; I feel like I could laugh or cry, dance for joy that I am finally achieving my dream or shiver with loneliness as I am leaving all my important people behind…

The last couple days seem to reflect these dual (but not conflicted) feelings. The Wednesday, Thursday and Friday before I left, there were some things to do and I felt the weight of those tasks, but I just wanted to keep spending time with my boyfriend. I love him and miss him so much, even now…..

Why do I write this? Because I want to remember. So many don’t seem to remember such an important time at the beginning of a journey. But I learned long ago from literature that beginnings often foreshadow events to come. So if we are attentive to the present and remember the past, we can more adeptly direct our futures. The keys to the future lie in the past, I believe.

I want to remember the kindness that so many people have shown to me. Gifts of money, gifts of friendship, and gifts of support. I am really grateful for the wonderful dinner by the Mantei’s, the generosity of my mother that has largely afforded me this opportunity, and amazed by the huge surprise party that my DVC friends secretly planned for me. There have been so many farewell parties, I’m sure the collective well-wishing will be more than enough to last me beyond this year ^_^. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Everyone.

As much as I miss you all right now (none of the program people are sitting next to me, I feel a little friendless U.U) I also know that it is time for me to make my future. Every act and word will be recorded in the memory of some person, and I want to make sure that all memories of me will be positive ones. Just like my efforts at DVC, I want to know as many people as I can. This is different from being known by many people. To know someone is to care about them and listen to them, to be empathic and understanding. This is my goal, to be myself and in doing so, shine in the lives of others.私は光ですから、ぜったい光ります。

I continue towards my shining future...........