10 Reasons to Study Japanese as a Foreign Language

1. Japan continues to be recognized as one of the world's major players in the global arenas of economics, politics and renewable energy.


“Last year, Japan generated half of all the world's solar power, built 44% of all new solar energy equipment, and installed five time as much new solar power capacity as the U.S.” ( Business Week by The McGraw-Hill Company, September 6, 2004)

“ Broadband service here [ Japan ] is eight to 30 times as fast as in the United States -- and considerably cheaper. Japan has the world's fastest Internet connections, delivering more data at a lower cost than anywhere else, recent studies show. ” ( Washington Post Foreign Service , August 29, 2007 )


2 . Studying Japanese is a wise career-building strategy.


Many CSU alumni with a Japanese minor have been hired by well-established companies such as Sumitomo, Mitsubishi, Oppenheimer Funds, etc. because of their Japanese language ability. More and more Japanese companies are hiring non-Japanese who are fluent in the Japanese language.



3 The study of Japanese language offers unique insights into Japan 's fascinating national culture.



Studying Japanese greatly enriches the study of Japan 's national culture, which boasts a rich heritage in the fields of native craftsmanship, performance art, visual art, music, film and graphic design.


The curriculum of the Colorado State University Japanese Program with a holistic approach is designed in such a way that students at every level learn the language and culture through regular classroom instruction and hands-on culture workshops.


4. Learning Japanese helps students gain an enhanced perspective of their own language and culture.



Through studying Japanese, students have an opportunity to compare Japanese with their own language and culture. Many aspects of their own language and culture are more appreciated when students realize the differences and similarities among different cultures.



5. Studying Japanese builds brain power! Once you study Japanese, you can handle any foreign language.



This goes beyond being able to order sushi in style! Study of a challenging foreign language like Japanese fosters key analytical and critical thinking skills. Learning to write Japanese characters not only improves observation skills and dexterity but also stimulates the front cortex. For Westerners Japanese is the most difficult language among less commonly taught languages. Once you study Japanese with Chinese characters, you will learn strategies to learn other non-alphabetic foreign languages.



6. Japanese language education in the world continues to grow.



According to a survey by the Japan Foundation, in 2006 approximately three million people in 133 different countries were studying Japanese, up 26% from 2003. This number excludes those taking on-line courses.



7. Students of Japanese become eligible for opportunities to travel and/or study abroad.



Colorado State University offers a number of study abroad opportunities in Japan through Kansai Gaidai University , Yamagata University , Sophia University 's CIEE Center , and other institutions. After graduation, many CSU students apply to the Japan Exchange and Teaching Program which grants graduates the opportunity to work with local Japanese government organizations to enhance English language education in public and private junior and senior high schools all over Japan .



8. Japan is increasingly emerging as a point of origin for American pop culture as anime , manga and other Japanese cultural exports hit U.S. airwaves and store shelves.



“… Japan has made deep inroads into American culture, usually written off by the rest

of the world as aggravatingly insular. Bestselling Sony Playstation and Nintendo home video games draw heavily on Japanese anime and manga for inspiration.

So have recent Hollywood films, such as The Matrix , and television series, including director James Cameron's Dark Angel . ‘… Japanese anime-style cartoons currently fill the majority of time slots in the after-school and Saturday morning schedules on

U.S. cable television. The cartoon and video game franchise Pokémon—broadcast in 65 countries and translated into more than 30 languages—even made the cover of Time magazine…



“In cultural terms … Japan has become one of a handful of perfect globalization

nations (along with the United States ). It has succeeded not only in balancing a flexible, absorptive, crowd-pleasing, shared culture with a more private, domestic one but also in taking advantage of that balance to build an increasingly powerful global commercial force. In other words, Japan 's growing cultural presence has created a mighty engine of national cool.” (Douglas McGray, “ Japan's Gross National Cool,” Foreign Policy magazine, June 2002).



“Japanese cultural exports, i.e. revenue from royalties and sales of Japanese music, video games, anime, art, films and fashion, soared to $12.5 billion in 2002, up 300 percent from 1992.” ( Japan Now , New Year's Edition: Volume 1-2005)



9. The Colorado State University Japanese Program has a truly unique program through which native senior Japanese helpers come to CSU and help students learn Japanese in and outside of the classroom.



Since its inception in 1998, the Senior Volunteer Instructor Program has thrived, helping students of Japanese in and outside of the classroom. Having native speakers who are from Japan in class creates an authentic atmosphere and an environment that is conducive to learning. These volunteers often host CSU students in their homes when the students go to Japan .



10. A Colorado State University Japanese class is a great place to make new friends, have awesome senpai (upper-classmen) and find a community!



The Japan Club, the Ramnime club, calligraphy and origami sub-clubs and affiliation with the CSU Japanese Student Association all offer great opportunities to make new friends, explore Japanese cultural activities, participate in field trips and have fun. CSU's Japanese courses feature a highly collaborative learning environment that often sparks lasting student friendships.



“…, it is good to hear from you [Beecken-sensei] and please know that your students are all over Asia using lessons you taught us to explore the world!” CSU alumna (class of 03).

In summary, for students, studying Japanese can be an asset in the job market, a spur to personal and intellectual growth, a source of increased self-esteem, and of course an enjoyable experience. Nihongo o benkyo shimasho! (Let's study Japanese!)

"Comics are the Marijuana of the nursery"

From Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1950s

"In 1948 John Mason Brown of the Saturday Review of Literature described comics as the "marijuana of the nursery; the bane of the bassinet; the horror of the house; the curse of kids, and a threat to the future."

My my, then I'm definitely a child-pothead and a threat to the future. I wonder if in his later years, Mr.Brown was forced to watch cartoons on TV in his nursing home? :)

久しぶり日本語作文

Hello~! I was in my Second Home (ie the Humanities Building at school U_U;) and I perchanced to partake in a study conducted by a PhD student from Japan. I had to listen to this tape in Japanese and fill in the answers. The second part I had to watch Pengu and write a 1 page sakubun.

Just thought I'd post it so people can see how bad my writing has gotten these days, hahah.......

(probably that's not really laughing matter... (-_-;;)


ペングーという映画の話は若いペングーというペンギンである。ペンクーは家族とイグルーという家に住んでいる。あの日、ペングーはおばあさんのうちへ一人旅に行く。早い朝にペングーが、ペングーのお母さんは起きて、ペングーに歯を磨かさせた。それで、お母さんはペングーの弟を起きさせても、赤ちゃんの弟がまだまだ起きたくないから、大きくてうらさい声で泣き叫ぶんだ。赤ちゃんを静かに成らせるのために、ペンギンお母さんは赤ちゃんにか食わした。
そのあと、ペングーはトレイを使う後、キチンに入って、お父さんに朝津して、魚の朝ごはんを食べ始めた。食べるの終わったあと、ペングーは旅る準備をした。赤と白のふくに食べ物とおばあさんにプレセ－ントの荷物巣を詰めた。弟がまた涙を泣んてはじめ、ペングーは弟にハグをされて弟に元気治させた。それで、家族にバイバイして、出発した。
ところで、ペングーの旅がはじめた。でも、まだ遠い距離を歩かなくても、ペングーは知り合いを出会った。知り合いの雪バイクに登って、知り合いからペングーがおばあさんの家の近くまで連れてくれてもらった。ペンクーのおばあちゃんはペンクーの顔を見かさて、うれしそうだ。おばあさんはペングーのために美味しそうなご飯を作ってあげた。最後に、夜の遅くになったから、ペングーがおばあさんの家に泊まった。
それで、終わり。

Universal Tapestry of Fate

I believe in the quantum mechanics’ theory of multiple realities, ie that every possibility exists until one makes a choice and selects one possibility. At that point all other possibilities become reality only in another parallel universe. This intricate web of possibilities and chances and opportunities is woven by God like an unseen spider. It is the duty of those with extra-sensory vision to reach out and feel the pattern and try to understand which way it should be woven into reality. This is the way that I see myself trying to decide what “should” happen, how the spider web tapestry of my reality, which is a part of the larger of the Universal Tapestry, should be woven in order to compliment the overall design. I am not the Creator of the Tapestry’s threads and my influence on the Universal Tapestry is currently limited, but I feel that subtle weaving of my own personal life’s Tapestry will eventually be an integral part of the over all pattern for the World Reality Tapestry.

～Interlude～

Today's blog is very personal... And long. Read through the end, it gets good, I promise you (-_^)
Through recent reflections, I have been thinking about my future and my feelings on other careers I had previously considered, especially my feelings on the JET programme and its' participants. I think I finally have been able to voice and describe the tangled spider web of myself and my relationship to Japanese studies. DISCLOSURE: THIS IS HIGHLY PERSONAL. I read this and feel that my heart is verbalized on the page. I welcome all comments, but know this subject is VERY close to my heart.

But before the main feature....
a bit of venting (for sanity's sake)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today has been a very loooong day (surprisingly since time seems to fly by so fast.) Waking up before my alarm at 6am, volunteering at my internship site (an Japanese bilingual program at an Elementary school) from 7:30 till noon, then hauling my ass all the way across town back to school for my one class of the day (thankfully easy classwork today), and then hanging around school till 5:30 to hold a meeting for a Japanese Major Grad Ceremony/Party which no one showed up to *(-_-)**~~ Oh, I got a ticket for my car "blocking the sidewalk", a section of unfrequented pavement. F*ckn' SAW the MeterMaidMan stop in front of my car and ticket me. To make a tale short, one that involved me sprinting downstreet after him and getting him to stop by yelling "F*ckn asshole!" and a lovely but frank conversation punctured with colorful insults, I think I can get out of it by snapping a photo of my car and sending it in. Hah.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`


I've been doing a lot of thinking about what shape I want my future to take, at least for the next 5 years. I thought about this a lot this time last year, when I had thought I would already be graduating, since I was completing my fourth year of school. When I was in my Junior College and still living at home 3 years ago, my Dream had been to be an English teacher in Japan (hopefully JET), marry a Japanese man, and have bilingual kids.

No joke. This was Dream that I told myself I wanted.

My experience of living in Tokyo for a year and my lukewarm relationships to Japan through new Japanese friends who I met at my college after my year abroad killed a lot of that passion. I began to wonder, "What REALLY is Japan to me? Why is it feel so central to who I am? Why do I cling to it so much? Why do I wrap my self-identity so much with this county? Not that I care, but is this unhealthy or abnormal? Should I give up on my Japanese studies since Japan seems to have given up on me?"

(Aside thought: break-ups with my first very serious, almost-finance Japanese boyfriend and several really BAD messy rebound relationships could be partly responsible for this notion of betrayal...)

Until this point in the current Interlude Era of Limbo Era as I call the life of Now, (a time frame of the last year and a half) I have been very ambivalent about joining the JET program. I was of the opinion that participants in the program were purposeless drifters who had no life aspirations beyond creating a fantasy life in Japan. After in my one year abroad in Japan, I suffered a horrible disillusionment about the type of people who become ALTs and the kind of life the lead. I saw it as a life of debauchery, drinking, and depression, as many of the JETs feel they are not very useful in their jobs. I used to think JETs were a subclass teachers since they had NO education credentials. JET applicant’s often sub par Japanese language skills and cultural knowledge annoyed me.

Then I applied for JET out of desperation for a job and a direction in life. Over the months I waited, I became more excited. I can be in JET, but I can do things my way. Life is what you make of it, and I will do that with this job too!, I thought. I thought I would get it, that I was a shoe-in, though I never let myself get overconfident, half-expecting the opposite.

...and it came. Two week ago, a crisply polite rejection letter came in the mail.

grrrrr (>_<)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~........ Actually, I'm ok. I'm ok with it.



But I had to stop and think; why am I so judgmental about the image I perceived about the majority of JETs, with no teaching credentials and hardly any knowledge of Japan?

I realize I must be an elitist and a purist for my knowledge of Japanese. I think I hated how my knowledge of Japan came from only video games, comics, and cartoons. I think I used to think I needed to be slightly embarrassed when I admitted such a fact to Japanese friends, since only nerds and other social rejects and socially-inept types were really into such hobbies. I think I did not want to be associated with those types. I desired prestige and professionalism. I desired financial success, social success, and even more, opportunity to travel and see the world. I want real life experiences, I do not want to spend all my free hours with my arms, hands, and fingers connected to the computer like umbilical cords, dependent for an experience from anime which, in it’s essence is FANTASY. I do not want to get caught up in the fantasy world generated by many media geeks, and forget about the beauty of a sunny day in Katmandu or the cool breeze blowing of the bay in Nagasaki. I am a passionate geek for anime, manga, and video games. I am passionate about discovering authentic Japanese and other world cultures. I want to break out of the shell that I used to live in when I was in junior high, when I would not leave the house for up to a week while I played Final Fantasy.


Thus, I chose to learn a language over becoming an animator, so I could live abroad in the country of my dreams, Japan. Thus, I could learn what the REAL Japan was like. Thus I could have an advantage over the average anime fan who never pauses his Dungeon and Dragons game or World of Warcraft to get off his ass and his parent’s couch to get a degree and move to a foreign country. Thus I could have perfect Japanese skills and feel I was higher class than other students of Japanese and fans of Japan.


…this is why Japan and Japanese is so important to me. It is completely tied up with my ego. And I am fairly arrogant, at times. You are your skills. I am good at Japanese. Therefore, in essence, I AM Japanese language. I have learned in the last few years that it is not the entirety of who I am. I realized after my disillusionment of life in Japan and realization of how horribly I sucked at Japanese even after 2 years that I couldn’t depend on it to give me a complete identity. I needed to expand who I am. I need to encompass and incorporate more into me, to flesh out the bits of me, those strong-willed, opinionated, obstinate, and pushy parts that refused to be suppressed by oppressive Japanese culture. I opened my heart to explore my heritage, the inheritance that my brothers seem to have chosen to ignore. I open my heart to my Dutch and British ancestry and their people’s history. I claim my heritage to flesh out the person I consider myself to be. I open my heart to love the world and its cultures, to see the beauty in our differences and similarity in experiences.


But I will first hone my skill and knowledge of Japanese. As my mom always says “Finish what you start before you begin any other new project. And make sure you clean up after yourself when you’re done!” (That last bit usually applied to messy art projects ;-)

Warm days, cold thoughts

It is Monday late afternoon, and I am typing this reflection paper for class; balmy breezes from an unusually warm day waft through my room and send the organized chaos of stacked papers on my desk into utter disarray. I am pleasantly warm; I am cheered to be able to let a fresh wind into my cloister of a bedroom. But on the other edge of this outward calm, I feel a nagging sense of unrest. I am unsettled, for there is no time to settle. The pressure of my impending graduation is weighing upon me. Forty-one days. I counted today. Less than 4 weeks of classes. Four weeks of being an undergraduate, un-tethered and meant to experiment and live it up. I feel the pressure that will soon sit solidly upon my shoulders, the Weight of Responsibility of Adulthood and Career.

Ugh.

I wish for more time, more time, time.....

I am not afraid of the change in my life that awaits me. I merely recognize the opportunities and experiences that will soon be no longer in my grasp; they will be replaced with others, but I still lament my Adolescence as I see it pass by into the murky abyss of Memory…

Once Upon A Saturday Night ~OR~ Friendship Over Romance

This is something that I have began to write weekly for my internship seminar class. It is called an RSDLE, or reflective self-dialogue for learning. I wanted to share this because, I want people to read my writing and tell me if it moves them. I want to learn to write well from my experience. I appreciate all comments and suggestions. Thank you and enjoy~!

___________________________________________________________________



I wait outside his front door for him. I have come to his house for the very first time. We have planned to get together and make some dinner and watch a movie. This will be the very first time he will come to my house.

The thoughts do not race, but rather leisurely jog, through my mind. I look up and admire the candy-colored orange paint of his house. His Indonesian host parents have interesting taste. It is pure San Franciscan flavor but almost resembles Disneyland.

As my mind wanders and grows slightly impatient from waiting, suddenly the door opens and I leap up in surprising, letting out a startled yell. Hand on the door, he also leaps back with a shout, closing the door with a BANG! It takes me a few seconds to recover from shock before I burst out laughing. The tears stream from my eyes and my infrequently used stomach muscles ache and it is a almost a full minute before he finally appears again, glaring with annoyance. He thinks that I have intentionally tired to frighten him but I can do nothing to explain the coincidence of both of us startling each other, as that I can barely pull myself together to contain my laughter and get off his porch.

I am still full of giggles and definitely high spirits as we get into my car and head to my house to make the dinner I have been looking forward to all week. We will be cooking Okonomoyaki, a Japanese pancake with pork and cabbage and I am really looking forward to cooking complicated Japanese cuisine. We arrive at my house and I am excited as he follows me up my front steps. I am so happy he has finally agreed to spend some time with me! How long I have wanted for him to come over! I am a surprised that I am not placing more expectations on this night like I might have one year ago… I give myself a mental pat-on-the-back and remind myself to just stay calm and cool, act natural. Besides, I already know where we stand; he has a girlfriend he loves very much and I really want friends with him. No need to make more out of this. The thoughts pace through my brain as I insert my key into my door and open it with a flourish. As he follows me in, I appreciate how his manner is polite yet un-awkwardly friendly. Such a nice guy...

Before we start cooking, he comes with me to check out my room. He admires the posters of obscure Japanese anime that I have on my wall. To my surprise he knows many of them; I did not know he was such a fan of anime. When he notices some pieces of costumes I have made, I take out my computer and we look at some of my old photos together. He seems to genuinely like my costumes, a sensitive piece of my nerdy-ness which I have long fretted about being accepted by others, especially Japanese friends. We look some of my pictures of his home island of Shikoku, Japan. I am elated to finally hear more information about the places I visited two years ago. I tell him stories of my experience of feeling ultra-foreign in that tiny, xenophobic temple-town, of the old lady at the azuki, sweet red bean, candy shop who wouldn’t stop asking me strange questions about my height. My heart is warmed with this chance share these memories which I have not yet shared with another soul.

It is getting late and we have not even started cooking yet. We head to the kitchen and begin prepping all the ingredients. As I am cutting the cabbage and he helps with slicing other veggies, I admire how he seems to know his way around the kitchen. He does not stand there, helpless, waiting to be told what to do. I recall other dinners that were intentionally attempted to be more intimate and romantic were much more awkward than this moment. A part of my heart is disappointed that he is a platonic friend.

We cook and chat, exchanging stories of our pasts. I learn he has an older sister who is going to be married in July. I am very glad that he finally trusts me enough to open up a little bit to me, and tells me of his personal life. I remember what his friend once told me, of how he is like a barricaded that constantly needs to be politely knocked upon to finally get it to open. As he tells me of his interests, I feel we have a lot more in common than I realized… he shares my taste in music and we enjoy many of the same movies. And unlike many of my other friends, his English really characteristic and well thought out, not plastic, inorganic English expressions. Though there are a few times I have to take a moment to clarify a complicated idiom or expression or correct his English, our conversation flows so smoothly.

After a delicious jointly-prepared dinner, we clear off the table and finally set up my computer for the movie. We are watching an animated Japanese kid movie, Ponyo-on-the-Cliff. I wrap myself in a blanket and settle in. I have had a few beers however, and the lack of any dramatic action or any sense of danger (it is a kid movie) makes me slowly loose attention and nod off. I try to keep myself awake by sitting up but before I know it, I’m already slumped down again. I turn on my side to find a more comfortable position.

My head is only a few inches from his shoulder. I raise my eyes, tracing his silhouetted profile. The changing scenes of the movie illuminate his face in blue then pink, then a warm golden glow. Something stirs in my gut and I have to suppress an overwhelming urge to lean on his shoulder.

“God!” shouts a voice in my brain, “Why should it have to stop here?!”

I look back into myself, and I search my heart, sifting through the conscious and subconscious desires to find my True Heart. And it speaks to me. “Do not say “We are just friends,”” it says. “Friendship is the most powerful bond. Romance can flare and fade, but friendship can withstand all trials of time and hardship. Be thankful for a friend.”

This message emanates for somewhere deep below my throat, in the back, in my core.

I know this to be Truth.

He is a friend and for that I am sincerely grateful.

too many moments like these....

oii, ひさしぶりてす。　Much time has past since I have even open up this website.... Many things have changed for me in the time since I last wrote.... and in some ways not much has changed at all.

I've almost completed my 3rd semester at SFSU, and it's a bit bittersweet. I've been trying really hard to recreate what I used to enjoy at other schools and clubs, with results that seem somewhat mediocre. I'm minding ways to enjoy myself but it feels like I'm off-track to where I want to be....

There have been some very fun experiences this semester. I started tutoring again at San Francisco State's tutoring lab called the LAC. It's not easy work though... you really need to work pretty hard to make sure you are helping a student both in what they need and what they want. I also had to take a class to train for the job and it turned out to be a lot more work than I would have thought! I wonder why the other tutor class at DVC felt so easy...?

I　also started taking Yoga class on Monday nights. The class is pretty engaging and I usually work up quite a sweat. I think I could do it as a hobby if I conveniently lived next to a studio...

Other things this semester.... I think i've tried to join at least 10 different clubs. no kidding! let's see, MECHA (mexican student club), Indian student club, various christian fellowship groups, the Japanese student association, the IEEC (international student club)....

i think i have a really hard time finding a place with people
who I really can to talk to and feel like are worth my time...



I got really frustrated once.
My coworkers invited me to a small Christmas party for thier Christian group called Intervarsity. I went but I was really turned off. It was like sitting in a Junior High class room, with all the silly kids running and yelling and jumpinng alover eachother, and several people who are preschool teachers saying "ONE TWO THREE EYES ON ME!"

I'm mean yikes, how old do they think we are? 5?

And i came back home really early like 10 pm and I felt so alone.I begain pacing up in down. grrrrRRRRaaarR! It's a thursday night and i'm at my apartment alone. and I wased my time with a stupid kids party.
I began frantically pacing up and down but stopped suddenly.
I stood under my skylight and i looked up.


Out of the pit of my stomach the raw sickening emotion rushed to the surface, and with came a yell beyond the doors of frustration to reach up to the heavens.

"WHY???!! WHY? WHY?? WHY!?!?! WHY GOD DO I END UP LIKE THIS? HUH?! You going to answer me? Tell me what I've been doing wrong? How have I jinxed myself? Why do i find myself so frequently in these situations??! Who am I to be? Who was I meant to be? What is inside me that just won't settle? Is my japanese voice within me still valid? am I being fake??? Will you just not give me some peace and direction?????! "
I yelled at God, hoping wishing craving someone, something, for any corner of the universe to answer me.

The air in my apartment rang in silence, my cries reveberating off the sparse walls.

Panting, exhausted from the overflow of emotion, I waited....
and from the depths of my mind there came my own voice.

Calm down Claire. Tomorrow is another day. Good things come to those who wait for the right chance.

I didn't really understand. But I felt like there might be something there. I think I felt a bit calmer.

The solution has yet to be reached. But I'm going to keep trying.

Sporks of F (Spontanious forks in Fate)

I schlepped through the drizzling rain to downtown and went to an indie comic/art convention called APE today. Though I was really inspired with the ornate, groteque, and often oddball pieces produced at the hands of creative types, I was even more inspiring to be in a room with so many creative minds in one hall... It made me thing again about my own "art" and what I desired to make and create. I could see some comics that I felt were rather flat, like others which made me feel like, "YES, THAT is what I want to make!"

I want to make art that connects the lingering elements of people minds, hidden desires and dreams and puts them in the context of current reality. Fantasy and social commentary. Utilitarian art would also be good...
Lingering desires to reality. words to action.

Goal of the week, complete hw assignments, plan out storybook, complete JET application.

Father's Day

My father died today.

This fact keeps rebounding through my head like an echo in empty cathedral.

But somehow, my heart's not there. I don't know what my heart is supposed to feel.

We weren't really close. Though I have a few good memories of him, back from when I was a little kid, I've always tended to sway towards my mother strong, opinionated viewpoint for the past few years after the divorce we never talked much. I was afraid of him using me to get information about my mother, who wanted to be left out of everything.

But as I consider everything in the big picture, I am filled with questions and uncertainties....

Do you miss a person who was never really there? Does his really being gone, not just out of the state or the country, but out of this plane of existance ment to recreate and synthesize happier memories?

What is a father-daughter relationship supposed to be like? What is it to love your father or for a father to love his daughter?

It is possible for me to tell, a least from this point. But I know I wished him godspeed to the other side, and told him goodbye and I really ment it.

Memories by song

Everytime i sing this song, it reminds me of two friends: singing it for my Fumi Kasagi who's in NY now, and for Koji Koshikawa... I haven't talked to u in a while, but i hope ur well.

Cheers, enjoy the video～～!

thoughts back that press forward

These days I've been thinking about my teacher/program Mom Kasaoka-sensei... I'm sure taht she is... she is being kept very busy with this year's new students (^_^) I wonder what kind of group are at Waseda this year...? How many students are from SF State?
School must have JUST started huh... thinking about the beginnings make me go into flashback mode, haha..... funny, but at the end of my year abroad I felt like I was ready for it to be over, ready to move on and do something else, but now that I look back on the year's events, I wouldn't mind doing it over again, so long that i knew what I know now.

I still feel like it's kinda weird to be actually back here... at first, I was really bored to be just sitting around my parent's house, waiting for school to start, and then nearly in tears because after a month i forgot how fast-paced life in the city can be (>_<) but u know, I can't help comparing my new recent experiences of living on my own in SF to life back in Tokyo. I recently move out of my parent's house and into an apartment with some roommates, closer to SF State so that I don't have to commute to SF. Live on my own isn't always easy (specially when I have to worry about what's for dinner~! ahh, that was the biggest plus for living with my host mom Yumi-san, delicious dinners...) but for better or for worse, I'm really enjoying life here. I think it much easier to live and socialize in SF than in Tokyo. I don't know if that's because this is closer to home for me or whether it's a dynamic related to the cities themselves, but I feel like i can connect easier and deeper to the people I meet here.

of course, I can't be back here without missing familiar relationships... the friends I used to know have left for other places, and sometimes it can be hard to walk around a familiar place that i used to spend time with a certian person....... but as time passes, and I meet new people and can make good memories with new friends, it becomes easier.

This year won't just be a year of hanging out and parties and friends. I have to be very serious about studying because i'm almost done with my Japanese major and I'm beginning to work on a very difficult English major. So much reading to do~~~~~!!! (>_<) I'm beginning to think about what to after I graduate... should i look for work right away or do I want ot go to grad school? Where do i want to go? Japan, California? Somewhere else in the US? Or do I want to try something completely different and go to Europe? Do I have the money to go to grad school?

I can't make any decisions now, and maybe not for another year. But I want to use this year to find and consider all of my options. I want to make a better, more realistic and solid plan for myself. The thought of "just graduate and teach in Japan" doesn't satisfy me anymore. I'm on the search for something better.

How to sum-up a year in Japan? (Part 1)

Well, I've been meaning to write some sort of summary for a long time.... maybe 2 months, in fact. Often I find myself only writing when I really don't have time for it, when I should be doing other things (like right now I'm in my school's computer lab and I really should be finishing Japanese homework...). But I found this and I feel it does give a pretty actuate protrait of some the aspects of being at Waseda's SILS (School of International Liberal Studies). I just hope that I was less apathetic and more motivated that many that I had met there.

The list, taken from "You know you when to SILS if..."
-you speak a hybrid language. e.g. "i'm so fucking hungry dayo!!"
-although you technically go to school in nishi-waseda campus, you don't really go "inside" the campus that often.
-statistics is your worst enemy.
-you confuse people from other departments by using the word "sils" profusely in daily conversations.
-you often forget english is supposed to be a foreign language in japan.
-you think...no, you know 留学センターis stupid.
-you spent half your freshman year first semester in building 19's lounge.
-however, when you become older and cooler you tend to forget that you too used to spend time in 19's lounge.
-in open college classes you and your friends are the loudest... and coolest, in your opinion.
-you don't know half your friends' surnames.
-when stuck in a conversation with nothing to say, you ask people where they want to/are planning to/have gone to study abroad.
-you can't speak your mother tongue properly.
-your non-japanese friends speak better japanese than the japanese ones.
-you say hi to at least five people walking the slope between 19 and 22 for your next class.
- you meet most of your friends and professors at HUB in Takatanobaba.
- you feel cool and fab dressing up for Tanabatas and Halloween.
-you know that SILS office staff are useless.
-your decision on which course to take depends on the professors' english skills.
-you ask for chewing gum as if everyone has it everywhere.
-you wear weird clothing and freak out people in side the waseda gate, who all wear the same clothing.
-you wear scanty clothing and show lots of your skin (and fat).
-you think that bldg. 22 PC room is for sils students, therefore you feel pissed when other department people are dominating the place and there's no room for you to kill time on facebook.
- you have to think about 3 seconds and then reply when people asked, where did you come from?
- you lived in more than one country before.. and if you didn't, your friends think you should be in museum.
- your facebook wall has english and japlish eg. kyo wa tanoshikatta yo neeee. all over.
-you are out partying almost every friday.
- you said SILS all over and expect other people to understand what it stands for.

Japanese Politeness - Overstayed Farewell Party

Yesterday I went to my friend John's host family's host for a Farewell Party that they were holding from him. I remember from the first time he emailed me about it, I was really surprised that his family was willing to open their house up to complete strangers and invite us to have a party. In the US, this isn't something so surprising, but in Japan where one's private face is carefully concealed, people don't socialize in the ultra-private intimacy of each other's homes. I have only twice before been to a friends' house, once each, even though they were both living alone.

So being invited to another's house is a big deal, even more so because it was John's host mom who suggested that he invite some people over. He said he would never ask for anything like that and I wouldn't think of asking my host family either (though when I asked my host mom about it later, all she could do was say how surprised she was that I hadn't had a party. "ALLLLL the other previous students had had parties, but Claire doesn't have good friends in the CSU group and you weren't here for your birthday, so that's why." (-_-;)) Oh, and it's almost expected for you to bring some sort of gift to your host,like a bottle of wine or dessert, but I when I asked John about it, he said i didn't need to bother. But I regretted it later...

I got to John's train station relatively on time, exchanged quick introductions with John's 2 other friends Hannah and Tokano and we walked to his house. And WOW! what a house! It' a REALLY big house,western style, with a security gate and even a garden!!! They must be pretty loaded.... What kind of people does John live with?? I was expecting younger people of about late 40s to early 50s, but once we were ushered awkwardly in the door, John's host mom Satomi-san was more of an grandmotherly woman, who's aura (after a few minutes of conversation) just EXUDED traditional Japanese housewife, seemingly polite and respectful.

Takano had brought a cake for dessert, which they graciously accepted. I felt a twinge of guilt for not being a better guest(o_O) Oh well, they'll probably just blame it on the fact that I'm American anyways...

The party turned out to be a much more formal event than I would have thought, with fancy fish and German wine and beer. They sat us down at the table, laden with plates, chopsticks and many dishes. Then the interviews began.

"Where are you from? What is your major? What do you study at Waseda? How do you know John? Can you eat fish? Wow, how did you learn to use chopsticks so well? Do you live in a dorm? Why do you live with a host family? What is your host family like?" With all the questions that Satomi-san fired at me, I had the feeling that this party was not as much for John as it was an opportunity for his family to meet foreign students. She also keep talking about John right in front him, like "Well, John is always like this" and "He ALWAYS likes this". It seemed a bit awkward, but I tried my best to make it more of a conversation by asking my own questions.

As the evening wore on, the wine glass continued to be refilled. They even gave me a cup of sake and asked me a couple times to have beer. I was at least a bit buzzed, but John's 30 yr old host brother and wife were certainly outright drunk. And poor Takano, they just keep pushing beers into his hand saying "Don't be reserved! Please drink more!!" We took group photos and listen to John play the piano. Ah, I felt like a kid at my aunt's house...

So at about 11, John turns to me and asks me in English what time my last train is, and if I want to stay the night. It was raining like crazy and I thought since he was asking, that it was already OK with his host mom. But since no one else was staying, I thought it best to head back. Figuring the time of my last train from Shibuya was at 12:40, we thought to leave the house at 11:45.

At this point, no one in the family said ANYTHING about what time the last train was, nor did I think anything about if it was getting late for his host family. In fact, we were all really still just chilling, so I wasn't trying to "guess" or "feel" if Satomi-san wanted us to go, though she didn't give those hints either, since she just kept asking us if we wanted more wine or beer or cake.

When we were just about set to take our leave, Satomi-san ran up and asked us to sign a guestbook, which took a bit of time. Me, John, and Hannah set off to walk me to the station. It wasn't until I had already left the house and was on the street that I realized Takano wasn't with us... huh? John said that Takano realized that he had already missed his last train, and Satomi-san had reluctantly said "Well, i guess it be helped" and let him stay. So why don't you stay Claire? Well does your host mom mind? "Dunno, let me ask." I called my host mom, and she was cool with it.

But when he came back he had a very confused expression on his face, since she had been really reluctant, saying stuff like "Well, it's a little bit difficult, and she is a girl, so won't her host parents will worry about her she doesn't come back?" I felt instantly bad right then, like I was imposing on Satomi-san kindness. We were debating what to do as we walked to the station, only to find I had missed the last train by 1 minute... We walked to Hannah's host family house since it was close to see if I could stay there since a girl staying over wouldn't cause as much of a problem, but no one was away to ask permission from so that was a no go. Me and John ended up making out way back through the heavy rain back to his place. I waited on the porch, hearing him mom say "So how was it?" (more like "did she go home?") while he made his explanation that she didn't seem so happy to hear. But once again saying "Well it can't be helped!" I was let in.

But this time as I stepped in the door, I felt a certain change in her attitude. I was not the guest that had just left, more of a bothersome child to care for. I was nearly ordered to take off my wet clothes as John was ordered to fetch me something dry of his, just as soon as he wiped up the water that had dripped onto the floor from his soaking pants. Even after I changed, we sat around being interviewed as she waited for Takano to finish drinking another beer that she had put in his hands, even though he drank 4 cans of beer and a bottle of red wine. I really wished that she would just decide to go to bed and leave us 3 to casually chill for a bit, but she didn't show any inclination to leave us "unsupervised". Definitely in charge, she was the one that said, "Well I'm sure you're all tired so it's probably best to get to bed," sweeping us off to our separate rooms. She even woke us in the morning, making breakfast from last night's leftovers, even though I would have preferred to leave ASAP as to not impose any more on her, but to refuse a meal already prepared would seem ungrateful......

It was only once we left that we found out why she had been so reluctant to let us stay: Her eldest son was coming in the morning, and she needed us gone so she could prepare the next big feast and also so he wouldn't know that there had been a party he didn't know about. He lives a bit far away and had NOT been invited to the party the night before since he would have had to stay, which would have been a trouble for her, since she would have to care for him the whole next day.

Sheesh!! What kind of family does this to their kids?! What kind of person doesn't make it politely yet obviously clear when it's time to leave??

...a Japanese one.


I just wonder if I am at fault for not "knowing" when to go home, or she should have made it clear that she was going to be busy the next day and couldn't afford any overnight guests.

Krisy Kreme Krazy Japan!

2 hour wait for a Krisy Kreme... would you believe it?! It's possible here in Tokyo, where anything from America can become more popular, faster and consumerism has been elevated to the extreme. What's more unbelievable is that waiting in a line to buy donuts has become a dating activity, almost comparable to waiting in line together for rides at Disneyland (O_o) And not only are they waiting a hell of a lot longer, but they are willing to spend much more money on them too, since on average everyone was walking out of that shop carrying a box or two of 2 dozen donuts, which cost about $20 each. Krispy Kreme must really be making a killing here.....

Tokyo Itself is A Lost Connection

I was on my way to school Monday, when I received a message from my teacher that all classes at Waseda had been suddenly canceled until May 29th because of the recent measles outbreaks in Tokyo. My first thought was to run the travel agency and see if there were any flights available to exotic places that other students had gone to over spring break but I hadn't gotten a chance to yet. Rather than travel alone, I found 2 friends who were willing to spend the money to go. Since most cheap tour packages that include flight and hotel were booked, we decided to go from June 1-4 to Bali (^___^) According to my aunt, it's a honeymoon destination, so I'm really looking forward to it.

The only thing is, in the mean time what's to do?? I feel like I've toured too much of Tokyo and Japan already.... and it's getting wayyyy to hot to sit at home... So I was looking for apartments in SF for next semester on craigslist. I was doing that today too, but eventually got bored and started looking at other parts of craigslist, when I found this post under Tokyo>>Lost Connections:

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"The City of Tokyo is itself a Missed Connection...

This is the conclusion I've roughly arrived at after spending what I thought was a sufficient amount of time there. But it wasn't enough time. Or more precisely, different rules seemed to apply to time. There were apparitions of faces in endless crowds. So many faces, but none that lit up in recognition just for me. Who knew me, or even wanted to know me.

It hit me one night on the Hibiya line. Last train. A man and a woman who had no connection other than a shared train seat. They had both fallen asleep and their heads and shoulders were leaning in toward each other with a kind of unconscious intimacy. Could it be that they had found in sleep what we could not in waking? But Borges had already spoken about that, hadn't he?: "...Que mientras dormimos aquí, estamos despiertos en otro lado y que así cada hombre es dos hombres." ("While we sleep here, we are awake elsewhere, and thus every man is two men.")

What's more, an advertisement above them read, in strangely happy red lettering, "Decide who you love best by November 31st." I stared at that sign for a long time. Like it was some oracle, some talisman, some harbinger of an alternate future. Why this arbitrary deadline? But I decided that sign was written just for me and so I wanted to comply with its order. But I couldn't. Or wouldn't. In any case, I didn't. And in this way, I lost you.

Do you remember the night we sat up smoking on your balcony, looking at the clouds moving in over the city, tracking the blinking lights and the trains snaking through the punctutated darkness toward who-knows-where? We decided the city had grown up enough to take care of itself. That if we all died tomorrow most of what we saw--the neon, the factories, the trains, the great modern pyramids of office building architecture--would go on. They do not need us. They might have at some point in the past, but no longer.

I have a letter from you from long ago. I saved it because it contains the most beautiful and most heart-rending line anyone has ever written to me. You wrote, "The time we spent together was wonderful, and I felt very close to you for a moment."

I missed you. I lost you forever to this city."

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wow, i so know how this person feels...i have always said that Tokyo is the Lonely City of Lost Souls, but this person explained so eloquently. I meet so many people everyday, but I feel like I lost my connection to them too quickly, or it never has any real chance to form... Even now as I have been sitting around my house or gone out somewhere by myself, I don't feel that strong connection to many of the people I know here in Tokyo.

...a few months after I came here, I felt like I lost my "light", the 明るさ of my personality... I don't know if I ever got it back, but I know I've been able to fight the against the darkness that threaten to swallow me.

who ever you are, I hope you can recover what this City has taken from you...

I want my Social Butterfly wings back....

Hey yah (^_^) sorry for the prolonged blog silence. My reasons, well 1. I was travelling 2. I was busy travelling and 3. I was out experiencing life so that I would have something to write about.

see, great reasons (^_^)

so this isn't really the blog i wanted to post to tell what's been happening, but I'll do. It's actually a letter to friend Gene-chan so that's why there are a lot of "you"s. Enjoy~! (@^_^@)

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but yah after I left Cali for Japan and my mom came with me, I was taking her everywhere and didn't have much a chance to sit down and type. Oh and I was a blithering idiot and lost my cell phone on a train the day before we were leaving Tokyo to go to Kyoto (>.<) not only did I have to pay like $70 to get a new one, I lost all my contacts, my pictures, and some rare-ish anime keitai straps ( DOUBLE >..<) It was like winter's unforgiving hand was trying to put the choke-hold on spring and yelling "I'm not gone yet, dammit!!"
hehe....

but yah, Kyoto was really beautiful.... it's kind of what you expected Japan to be. maybe most people visit only Tokyo and Kyoto and they come away with the impression that all of Japan is like that.... but anyways, I don't know if you remember going to Kyoto, but my favorite was Kiyomizu dera. (google it) It's a really HUGE temple that is built on a hillside and offers great views of Kyoto. all the sakura were in bloom when i went too, so it was really special.

well, school started last week (so i've had a total of 2 weeks of school now.... weird huh? Cali's schools are almost done and I just started!) and it took all that time to get my damn schedule figured out. I had to go sit in on a lot of classes to find out which ones were crap and which were worth it. A lot of the japanese teachers have such strong accents or unnatural ways of speaking you may as well be taking thier class in Japanese (-_-;) But i decided to take Applied Lingustics(of english), Women Writers in Japanese literature (in English translation. oh, and my teacher's Gaye. no, no joke, her name is Gaye Rowley) and a slew of Japanese classes. I didn't work really hard at my japanese last semester so i want to try better this time around.

but even as i'm just getting started here, i'm painfully aware of how little time I have left, like 4 months. wow, that 2 month spring vacation went REALLY fast... I have to start thinking about going back now too.... apartments, class reg back at SFSU, and any last minute travel arrangements (I may go to Hokkaido right after school finishes on July 26th and before i have to go back on the first week of August)............................
i just was wondering..... i wonder this is too early to be leaving? I went home to recover and re-center myself, but I wonder if that has let to my eyes becoming stuck in that direction rather than the present life I have now...?
also I have a lot of stuff i want to complete like searching online for an event to cosplay my Menos Grande costume, writing my blog, begin writing the book based on my Life in Japan ...
but..........

i'm too hooked on playing Zelda: Twlight Princess. I'm not kidding you , even me sitting down at my computer and commiting myself to replying to you has taken serious amount of effort!! i find myself coming home from school and turn in my Wii thinking i'll only play 1 hour but somehow that 1 hour turns into 4! and then a go to bed at 1am or 2 and wake up at maybe 9 then next morning to work on some homework before classes and again I find myself thinking "i wonder if i can get this done if i'll have time to play...."

I made plans to eat dinner with a friend on friday and i almost wanted to cancel so that i could go home and play Zelda because my host dad had been using the TV every night this week.

i must be addicted (@_@) just put some z's instead of @ symbols and that makes a good emotocon of my current condition.............

Anyways, even of my ranting for now... It's time to play more Zelda! I swear, i will finish this game if it's not the last thing i do!

Cheers~!
Claire

Okinawa Pictures

This is really late, but I thought i'd post some pictures of my trip to Okinawa.


This is a souviener shop in Naha, Okinawa's main city. It's along this road called Kokusai Dori (International street) that packed with these shops. You can tell that the main business in Okinawa is tourism...



"Yes, I am the Queen and this is my Castle..."

...yah right, i wish (U_U)
anyway, this is Shiri Castle, the main castle of three in Okinawa. This is where the last king of the Ryukyu Kingdom (the name of Okinawa when it was an independent country before it was conquered and annexed by mainland Japan) resided, ruled his subjects, and where ceremonies are still preformed today.


It's... soo.... BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!! I can't believe how beautiful the ocean was, the sand, the sky, everything.... if this is heaven, i'm going to die wearing a swimsuit (^_^)

Guessing Meaning

I got up this morning and was putting on my contacts, and one-by-one the other members of my host family were slowly rising too. I said good morning to them as they went upstairs to the kitchen (the bedrooms in my house are on the 1st floor and the kitchen and family room are on the second). As usual, I was wondering what my host mom Yumi-san was thinking to do about breakfast.

I'm not used to someone always making breakfast for me. My own mother will occasionally ask what I want to do about breakfast (if I wake up the same time she does on weekends) but usually I make if for myself if I'm hungry.

My host mom seem to have different thoughts upon the subject but it's not always clear what she intends or what she wants to do, because she doesn't always explain in a way that is clear to me. When I have class in the morning, sometimes she would make it for me but often food that I would prefer to eat for lunch, not breakfast... (i like sweet foods in the early morning). Or by the time I finished eating, I would be late. But after a while she said that she is sometimes busy in the mornings so she would buy cereal or toast for me to make for myself. "Alright, fine for me," I thought. "At least I don't have to worry about inconveniencing her by having her worry if she needs to make breakfast for me or not. On weekends, I'd wake up, grab something to eat or make tea, and get on skype to talk to mom or my boyfriend.

So this morning, after my usual morning wake-up routine (comb hair, contacts, wash face), I thought that maybe today too, I would make it for myself. I turned on the computer to check my email and mixi first, when I heard the sound of the vacuum cleaner. "Oh shit, if I go up stairs now, they're gonna make me clean!!" was my first thought (I have a horrible adversity to household chores.) So I waited until it seemed safe to go up. But as I began to make myself a bowl of cereal, my host mom exclaimed "Oh! I thought I would make you pancakes and we would make them together! Hitoshi-san (my host father) and I were waiting for you but when you didn't come up, we started cleaning." I appologized and said I hadn't realized that and I would put the cereal back in the box. But she went on to complain that I was the one who said I wanted to learn to cook and we should cook together, but I ALWAYS only come home for dinner when it's already cooked or I'm in my room until it's done; I don't help her make it. It is the Japanese way, she said, to know when to inhale and exhale in harmony with others. In other words, you have to unconsciously know another's wants and expectations. I had thought that she enjoys making the food by herself and when she wants help she will ask for it. But it seems that she feels that she doesn't need to express herself more than once. "I've told you before, haven't I?!" she said.

She did go on to make pancakes (for me and her, I thought) and okonomiyaki (she said it was for her husband and father, since they don't like pancakes). But when she asked me if I'd eat some, and I tried it and said it was good (I always too, as a compliment) she remarked, "Well, great! Now I don't have to make you pancakes in the morning!" Oh, you were only making them for my sake? "Yes, I was."

...?

I've been of two minds recently, thinking of how lucky I was that I could be so independent and go out when I wanted to and return when I wanted to, but at the same time wishing I that they felt more like my family. Yumi-san had said before at the beginning of the year to not hesitate to eat with my friends (or so I thought) because it is important to make good friends and spend more time with them then at home. So I guessed that I wasn't to rely on them to much companionship. But with this recent complain that "Oh, all the previous girl host students ALWAYS came back early and immediately came upstairs to help me cook!" I' m guess that she wants to have me an obedient daughter who helps her mom and always unconsciously knows when her mom needs help.

It's hard for me to define our relationship, because I don't really feel like her daughter nor do I feel like her equal in a friendship. Sometimes I've felt like a boarder, wondering if it's ok to drink any of the milk or use this or that. When I don't understand what she wants and I ask, I sometimes get this look from her like "You didn't KNOW already??!?" I am aware that it's a Japanese custom to not express opinions to often to avoid selfishness, but when you don't communication your feelings it's very hard to understand each other sometimes.

At least know that I'm beginning to establish myself here and I can feel some of the warming comfort of friendship, I think I can afford the time to involve myself more with my family and understand Yumi-san. She may not be my type of person, but for the sake of familiar harmony, I'm willing to try.

A quick update

Hello, I'm sorry I haven't posted in a long while, I just didn't feel like sitting for a long amount of to type this blog, since I've already spent too much time planning my mom's trip to Japan.

Yes, that's right my mom is coming to Japan. The adventures (and likely some misadventures) are sure to be a story to tell.

Till then, there have been a lot things going on which i plan to write of later, but I'll tell you for now that I'm leaving to go to Okinawa for 4 days. Yay, beach!!!

Now, off to pack and sleep for a couple hours ^_^ You can look forward to beautiful Okinawa pictures~!