A Japanese Christmas

I love Christmas. Since my birthday is two days after christmas, it's always felt like the christmas celebrations include my birthday too. But here in Japan, Christmas has a different feel... more Japanese think of Santa-san and dating than Jesus at Christmas.

Christmas for me is not presents or going out with your girlfriend... For me it's about gifts from the heart.

So...

To all my Dear friends,my gift from my heart to all of you; On this day, you are not alone, because I'm thinking of you. Wherever you are, I wish you all the best, today and everyday with bright hopes and bright dreams for the future ^_^

Merry Christmas everyone.

Love,
Claire

♪Hey, hey, my Boyfriend is Back♪

There may be many more interesting things that I have experienced in this last weekend, for example going to a drinking party with the Shoujo Manga club or taking an Aikido test with the rest of my Aikido club and only nearly passing to the next level (5, or go-kyu).... I could even talk about the conversation I had with my host mom, as she told me that I tell my opinion so straightly to them, it shocks them (for example, my host sister wanted a Sony camera because it looked cute, but I advised her against it, since they break really easy).....

But...

The only thing I can think of now is....

Only 15 more hours until I can be with my boyfriend again~~~!!!!

Kochan, I pray for your safe travels... what else more can I say but--- See you in Narita. ^_^

Dual Fantasy: Maids and Otaku

Hmm, this blog title would make a good game name... anyway, I haven't seriously written much in the last month, and i need to make up for it. K, Here we go!

So about two weeks or so ago, I had a really bad cold and I had been stuck in the house most of the day. The weather was bad as the cold, but when I was given a chance to meet a friend from online for the first time, I was curious enough that I couldn't pass it up. His name is Sasaki and he had found me in Mixi (Japanese MySpace) in April, occasionally messaging me since then. At first I thought he was interested in me as a woman, but I think now he just likes America friends who know Japan. He had been studying abroad in America for 3 years, living in Boston and Alabama I think. Well, having never lived in Tokyo or even lived in Japan for a while, he emailed me and asked if I would meet him to show him Tokyo.

Me, a foreigner, showing a native Japanese his country. (O_o)

So I agreed to meet him in Ueno since that was close to his house. Alright, that's fine , I thought, Ueno is plenty touristy. However when I met him, he said that he had never been to Akihabara (Electric Town, home to all things electronic and nerdy), and could we please, please go to Akihabara??? Alright fine, sure, why not... for some reason when Japanese people find out I like Anime, they all want to go with me to Akihabara... So we walked from Ueno to Akihabara (about 15 mins)... he was looking around and "ooo"ing and "aaah"ing more than any other foreign tourist I'd ever seen... maybe because he'd been living in America's boonies? Anyway though when we got to Akihabara, he said, "Hey you've been to a maid cafe before, right? Maybe since you know about them, you could take me to one!!"

If you don't know, a maid cafe is where girls of varying degrees of beauty dress up in maid outfits or otherwise and greet customers with the phrase "Welcome master!", serving food and fetish to mostly male clientèle. Some cafes simply serve food and maybe make small talk with the customers, while others offer massages, hand feeding, and more... I've been to the more normal maid cafes (Pinoforia and @home Cafe) twice before this with girl friends interested in what exactly attracted men to this.

So... I'm going to spend my saturday night with a guy I know from online at a fetish cafe in geek paradise.

...Strange, but better than staying home!

I really didn't want to take him to the cafe lest my reputation of being knowledge about such cafes grow anymore, but Sasaki was so persistent, I eventually agree to simply show him where the best one, @home, was so that he could go there again later with a friend or something. But once we were in the lobby, it was apparent that merely taking a quick look around would not be enough for him. He paid my 300yen ($2.50) entrance fee and we waited a while for a table to be free.

While we were waiting, I glanced around the room to gather what kinds of people frequent this type of place... a group of giggly girls, some boys already old enough to start going the way of the geek, men who still dress like they are young boys... never shy to gain information, I turned to a guy next to me and asked him why he came to this cafe over other ones. He told me it was because the maids here were the cutest and kindest and they really seemed to care about the customers. Hmm, ok, thanks.

After waiting a while, we enter the cafe... it has a very Japanese atmosphere, with low lighting, Japanese koto music, and the maids wearing kimomo and hakama. There is a large, square, raised platform that serves as a "bar" from which the maids serve and entertain. We sit at the "bar", next to an otaku looking guy wearing thick glasses and playing a Nintendo DS. Eventually me and my friend get into a conversation with this guy... he working for a computer company, lives alone, and comes to this cafe often because the maids are easy to talk to. Indeed, he seems very "at home" in this cafe, knowing the names of all the maids, even referring to them with the endearing title "-chan".

While my friend continues to chat this otaku-guy up, I overhear a maid's conversation with another customer and she speaks English. I interrupt my friend and he helps me to get her over so I can talk to her. I ask her why she works this kind of job and she tells me that she like cosplay and has always wanted to work in Akihabara, so this is a good job for her. So I ask her if she thinks that she is helping her customers to gain confidence to speak to girls outside the cafe or if she is inhibiting them by wrapping themselves in fantasy. This she couldn't really answer this question, so she said she thought she was helping them, maybe.

(My friend kept apologizing for my rather straight-forward questions, saying "Oh please excuse her, my friend is drunk...")

So I asked her, "What would happen if you met one of your customers outside of work, like at the train station as you were going home?" She replied "I would try to ignore them and not let them see me. Even if they did talk to me, I would just reply quickly and go."

I said, "Don't you care about your customer's feelings?"

"No, not like that," she said. "It's just a job."

-----------------------------------------------

I thought about this a lot, I think it plays into Japanese society's "role" structure. In Japanese society, you are much less an individual as you are a member of a group and the role you play in that group defines you. Obviously, this is very limiting, so a way to briefly break out of the confinement is to change roles and live a fantasy. The otaku-guy lives the fantasy of being master of the maids and the maids get to play dress-up. But when fantasy time is over, they slip back into their normal roles, just as nothing ever happened.....

My friend Ryosuke says "I think it's kind of romantic though, 'cause it seems like both people are enjoying the maid cafe from their own perspective and both are living as normal people outside that cafe. I don't think most of those maids talk to those "otaku-types" but those two people can talk, communicate, and enjoy themselves together at the cafe. It's ok to live out what is not real as long as they know it's not real, because people sometimes need to escape from reality especially for most of Japanese in Tokyo, since it's a cold and heartless city in the world's most stressful society."

I think i want to keep investigating this "role-playing" in Japanese society... I also wonder what is the difference between living in Tokyo and living in a smaller city....

The journey continues... and I'm enjoying the ride ^_^

(P.S. 7 days, see you at Narita Kochan~)

I'm not dead yet

Looking back the last two weeks feel like a whirlwind.... somehow when I was living them, they felt normal but if I try to remember what's been happening, I just feel like it's a blur of places and faces.... places like school, around Takadanobaba, Shibuya with friends who I barely know their names and faces that all look alike.

I actually have to look at my camera's pictures to remember what I've been up too...

So what have I been doing? Went to Nikko to see waterfalls and autumn leaves (but most were already brown and dead...except for the one in this picture) on Nov 2., hung out with random friends for lunch, met a friend knew from Mixi and hung out in Akihabara and when to a maid cafe, been sick, when to school, skipped Aikido club for a day and hung out with friends after classes and watched a japanese movie 手紙　(Tegami, or Letter) and when to dinner afterwards, was late to school one morning and was rushing so was riding my bike fast and turned a corner badly and fell of my bike and skinned my arm (could have been worse), hung out with other girls from CSU and found out that they gossip about each other sooo much, traveled about 1 hour from Shinjuku to go to Mt. Takao to see beautiful autumn leaves (there was some there this time), offically found out that I can go to Okayama for New Years!!!, watched videos of the new Legend of Zelda game and decide I REALLY REALLY want to play it, hung out with a friend from her birthday and got too drunk and was sick all on this Monday, and hung out with friends for dinner yesterday and ate this really fishy-fish that I tasted for hours afterwards. (>.<)

*Whew*

And one day I try to call my mom and she emails me that she's in Tahoe. I couldn't tell you how much want to escape this whirlwind life for a bit and relax with her in Tahoe too...

People ask me if I'm doing alright because I look really tired (I sleep but I don't feel like I'm resting much.... I still have bags under my eyes, what my friend calls "Panda Eyes") and I just say "Well, I'm not dead yet, so the worst hasn't happened." It kinda reminds me of the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I think that even if my arms and legs were chopped off, I'd still be the one to keep screaming "It is merely a flesh wound! I can still fight!!! Come at me, you pussy!!!" I wanna keep fighting to keep my head above the water so I don't drown.

I think that if I was back in Cali now, this would be whirlwind time too; My friends back at DVC are hooking up right and left with people I never would have expected, I just found out some shocking news about my older brother, school would be hella busy......

Maybe this is just the feeling that many people get around this time of year, the "Holiday Season". So that's me in the picture... just looking around and wondering what the hell is going on. Once again, I'm being swept along with the river of live with barely a paddle to steer my course...

There are some stories of the last two weeks I want to tell (specially about Akiba with the Mixi friend) but I'll have to save it for another time... Today is Thankgiving (Happy Thanksgiving!!!) or Labor Gratitude Day in Japan (Happy Labor Gratitude Day!) so our CSU group is having a group buffet dinner at the army base ^_^ Let's eat lots and lots of steak!!! STEAK!!!!! Oh and on Saturday I intend to go to Nintendo World to try out Legend of Zelda and Sunday is a L'arc~en~Ceil concert.

Busy, busy, busy...

But I'm still alive and breathing so it's alright. Even if I'm not always the happiest, I live to survive to the time when I can be happy.

Cheers, and Happy Thanksgiving ^_^ I wish you all enough.

First Cold and Worst Meal

Well I was wondering when the generally warm weather would finally begin to feel like Fall ..... Friday it was sunny and warm enough that one guy I know wore shorts, flip flops, and a T-shirt like a true Californian ^_^ Saturday I didn't just rain, it poured and today the sharp cold wind was enough to cut through my jeans and hooded sweatshirt and make me wish for a warmer coat....

But it's not that kind of cold that I dislike...... I got sick (*_*) After yelling and selling Takoyaki for Niji no Kai last week Sunday, I completely lost my voice and could only manage to croak out a few words that sounded like a toad with rocks in his throat... the worst was coughing so bad that I woke my host mom up a couple of times and couldn't sleep much for 3 nights .... Saturday's rain really matched my mood (U.U)............

I was feeling better today to hang out with my friends for a while. I joined this Waseda Illumination project to decorate some buildings and trees at Waseda for winter (not Christmas, because there are Muslims here to and it wouldn't be considerate (T.T) and I thought Japan didn't care about religion stuff....) Anyways we went shopping in Tokyo fabric district Nippori (i know where to buy fabric for cosplay now! ^^) but it took such a long time for everyone in our group of 8 people to agree on what material and color to use for the decorations, like 3 hours.... I like the group's leader, but she's too kind to make a firm, fast decision so that everything ends up taking way too long to decide (U_U)....... sheesh, Japanese group decision making......

Well I came home because it was cold and I didn't have anywhere to be but my host mom wasn't back yet from her business trip, so I was forced to fend for myself for dinner...... rather than feel like I was stealing supplies from the kitchen, looking clueless shopping in the store, or even touching the precious kitchen of my host mom's great hobby of cooking with my germ stained hands, I headed out to eat. Unfortunately, I don't live near a big station, so restaurants are not easy to find (and I've never looked for one in my area much....). After riding my bike around the area close to my small station Shin-maruko, I decided on udon soup at this shop with pictures of edible looking food in the window and names I could read.

I walk in and it's completely empty... is this usual for a Sunday night at 8:30? dunno... so I sit down and order the "Yama-kage" thinking it's noodles, egg, and maybe meat. What I get is a giant bowl with tons of noodles and an egg that was raw until it was halfway cooked by the heat of the broth.... yes, it's edible but barely....

And then I realize just what this brown broth with frothy egg and green onion looks like - the dirty water after cleaning my kitchen floor, frothy with soap bubbles and pieces of food from the floor...

........ugh.....

At 735yen ($5) I've eaten SOOOO much better for cheaper, specially close to school......

Well, it proves wrong what a friend told me, that there is no such thing as a really bad meal in Japan......... while mine wasn't BAD, it certianly was on it's way there........ I should have just asked them what was in the soup instead of just guessing...........

WasedaSai & Bennie K...

...was so awesome!

http://picasaweb.google.com/HikaruClaire/WasedaSai (Photo gallery)
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4697624056208570249&hl=en (Concert clip)
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6142357766902043559&hl=en


Bennie K's concert was so much fun! though they started late, it was certianly one of the best concerts I've ever been too ^_^ they are just so full of energy! Yuki in white is so cute and sweet, while cool、sexy bombshell Chika kicks ass with her awesome rapping! They did thier own hip-hoppin' version of "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" and came out for one more song when everyong shouted "Encore!!!"

I was surprised that there weren't so many people there, for such a famous band.... also, there was mostly Japanese too, not many international students or foriegners... oh and I was so tall, i could see easily ^_^

thank you, thank you Rod for letting me burn your CDs and introducing me to the カンペキDuo of Yuki and Chika!



what did i do, other than Bennie K..........



I hung out with my friend Orie, eating delicious festival food (yakisoba, fried bananas) , watching male cheerleaders the Waseda Breakerz (just imagine high school cheerleaders, but all guys... they even smile too much too...) , and talking to the Manga club about joining thier club......


so, Tomorrow～～～

I'm going to wear my yukata and help out at the International club Niji no Kai (Rainbow Club) Takoyaki booth!

...Yes Kodai, i'm making Takoyaki for the Gay Club :-P



Oh, Masaki, there is a club called GLOW (Gay and Lesbians of Waseda) I don't know what they are about, but if i have time tomorrow, i'll check it out ^_^


Well, see yah later~~~

Goodnight and good morning (depending on what time zone your in ^_^)

Halloween is always strange....

I met this guy as he was passing out flyers for an "American Style" Halloween party at Christian Youth Center in Mitaka. I struck up a conversation with him as to what he was doing here in Japan with the Christian organization... so of course we start talking about religion in Japan and I tell him my own complicated fusion of religious beliefs that include my Catholic upbringing, my Lutheran liberalism, my Aikido and Tai Chi ki philosophies, the Matrix, and the Force from Star Wars.

And then I realize........

I'm telling this to a 6'6" guy named Kermit ("Like the frog", he says), dressed in a panda suit.....

Life is strange...... so I took a picture ^_^ Isn't he adorable with my Chibi-Panda?

Clubbin', Sokeisen, some Halloween

As I settle into this life, I am calming the travel demon I was posessed with that would not let me sit still, ever quietly urging to keep moving...... Thus, I blame the demon for not posting in the last week :-P

I think that if I was back in California, this past week would have busier, with me readying a great Halloween costume. I think that no how old I get, I will never lose my Halloween spirit ^_^

Though I had been told that no one in Japan celebrates Halloween, I saw some signs on it; in flower shops selling Jack 'o lantern pumkins (different from the sweet, hard variety found in most supermarkets) and some guys wearing witches hats and capes and giving out candy at Takadanoba station near Waseda.

I had my own crazy Halloween times... I went clubbing all night and then when to Waseda vs. Keio baseball game!!! A friend Bob wanted as many people as possible to get together and go to the supposedly famous Ageha Club in Shinkiba (the middle of almost nowhere). It certianly did seem to be hoppin' for thier was a LONG line of people waitin' to get in, many in costume for the club's Halloween party. However, what Bob forgot to mention was that they would be very strict about IDs and age restrictions. While me and my friend Kaoru were getting lockers, a bunch of the guys in our group galloped ahead and got in before us, no bothering to wait and make sure we could get in too. So when me and Kaoru finally got to the entrance only to find that they wouldn't let Kaoru in (she's still 19), we called them and they only response they had was "well, i dunno what to tell yah, sorry." Oh, and by then the last train for home had already left.

idiot men.....


I could get in but not wanting to ditch my friend (unlike some guys...), we hopped on the free bus ride to Shibuya the club provided for shuddling those who couldn't enter, hoping to find more to do than train station, club, 7-11 Shinkiba. I was surprised that for a free ride, I got to cross Odaiba's Rainbow Bridge (usually $15, one way) and get a great view of Tokyo Tower. I'm really glad I didn't ditch my friend.



We did go clubbing that night, but at some place in Shibuya. It was fun but felt SOOO much like a high school dance. except with a bar and EVERYONE smoking... also, none of the giggly, idiot-headed, overly tanned Shibuya girls knew how to shake thier asses... to bad Kodai doesn't like to dance, I'd love to clubbing together with him sometime, but definately at a nicer place than that one.



However, my night didn't stop there... after crazy dancing all night/morn, I crashed at a cafe under Shibuya station, caught about an hour of sleep, and was off again to the Sokeisen (Waseda vs. arch-rival Keio University)! But this is no mere baseball game.... this is a sports event that puts every other American version to shame. Male students in black uniforms run around the stands encouraging everyone to keep cheering, no matter how hoarse their own throats are getting. Everyone stands up when thier team is up to bat. In the name of good sportsmanship, the cheer squad of each team preforms some cheers on the opposing teams side. Everyone singing togething in one voice, "Ganbare, ganbare, WASEDA! WASEDA, WASEDA, WASEDA!!!" I used to hate baseball for being too long and slow, but this could make anyone love the sport. I want to see how a soccer game is here in Japan...

I survived my 48 weekend~ Waseda won against Keio! But I think I'm still catching up on sleep... (for some reason I seem to wake up in the middle of the night a lot from dreams... I don't remember what about.)

What else is up? I finished reading Piers Anthony's "With a Tangeled Skien". I wanted another book to read.... I joined the Aikido club and my legs still hurt O.O well, I wanted it tough... I'm in the Waseda Illumination project to decorate part of Waseda in Christmas time and the commitee picked my design ^_^ Hopefully it will get final approval.

Today was a day off school, but I didn't want to do much than talk to Kodai... I kinda wanted to go somewhere, so I took a bike ride along the Tamagawa River for an hour... that was nice, the road is flat and the weather is still pretty warm, despite it being November...

Oh also Waseda's culture festival is this weekend~! So many things are happening, like concerts, club presentations, I'm helping out at a Takoyaki stand, it should be interesting ^_^

all life is not an adventure; sometimes it's just "meh". I wh

Testing, testing....

Some things frustrate me enough to make me reconsider whether living in Japan and raising a family here is a the best idea. One of such things would be Japan's test taking system and rote-memorization education system.

In Japan, it seems like your life is a test; in order to move on in life, you must past a test. A test to get you from elementary school to a good junior high, which is supposed to prepare you for the test to get into a good high school, to prepare you for the test to get into a good college, which is supposed to guide you into a good company, which takes fresh grads with no experience, trains them, and gives them lifetime employment (though this is changing); but this is if you can pass the company test that is part of the entrance interview.

In order to do well on the test, after regular classes are over for the day, almost all students attend extra "cram-school" which specialize in certian subjects like English, mathimatics, and natural sciences, studying 4 or more hours.

According to Wikipedia, "the aim of a cram school is to impart as much information to its students as possible in the shortest period of time. The goal is to enable the students to "parrot," that is, to unthinkingly repeat, information that is deemed necessary for particular examinations. Cram schools are sometimes criticized, as indeed are the education systems in the countries in which they are prevalent, for the lack of training their students receive in critical thinking and analysis." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cram_school)

If you don't pass the University entrance exams the first time around, you either give up and go straight into the working world, or you become a ronin, spending another year studying for the next entrance exams, sometimes 18 hrs a day. And what is college life? Friends, Nomikai, part-time job, Nomikai, maybe study a little, Nomikai, Nomikai, Nomikai~~!

Was there a point in going to school in the first place??? Ryosuke, I salute your courage to buck the system when you were young. All my international student friends, please make good your opportunity for more choices in life.

You may learn good test taking skills, but this method sure doesn't breed broad, free-thinking minds.

Students in Japan never learn writing skills in English; they focus on grammer points (even then, I see so many funny mistakes, I wonder if they really ever learned anything...). I am very interested to know what people learn in other subjects in school... But as far as I can tell, Speech classes or a Critical Thinking class would never be a undergraduate general eduction requirement. (I will look into what those are at Waseda too...) If the companies take care of new employee training, how does your University and school education train you for your future?

I'm trying to think back to my high school days to remember what I learned... I remembered challenging my math teacher that learning sine and cosine was NOT essential to my dream future job of being an art teacher (that dream is a little different now...). But I know I learned a whole lot of how to write; thesis development, organization, quotation, ect. I may not be to easily sit down with a list of new words and just memorize meanings like a human dictionary (**Rraah! Polly wants a cracker! Rraah!**), but I can argue my point (thank you Debate: Politics and Govn't class).

Every student I've talked to about the test taking system agrees they dislike it, but don't know how to change it. Social change is slow in Japan, and when you've had one political party in control for 50 years, that doesn't speed things up either. Then again, Japanese culture stresses not upseting the status quo or open expression of opinion and the educational system doesn't strive to inspire free thought.

When ever I'd imagined "Japanese-ness" I'd thought of fierce samurai spirit or graceful beauty or cutting edge technology. Until maybe this year, wanted to feel like I wanted to"belong" to Japan, that it was better than America; it carried an exotic allure.

It's still alluring, but not quite as exotic.

So, a question to answer in the future: What does it mean to be Japanese? What are the positive and negitive aspects? What have those of 2nd, 3rd, or 4th generation missed out on?

These are some of the issues that I reflect upon, as I consider my long-term possiblities of life here in Japan.

Souviener gifts from dreamed of Okayama

Earlier today, my host father Hitoshi-san returned from a business trip to Okayama prefecture. My host father knew I was interested in Okayama since my boyfriend is from there, so he brought back souvenier gifts, tourist maps, and pamphlets!

Okayama is famous for the Japanese folk tale of Momotaro, the Peach Boy. In the story, super strong Momotaro gives Kibi-dango (buckwheat mochi) to a dog and monkey so they will join his journey to kill a mean Oni (orge-demon). Thus, Kibi-dango is a common souvenier from Okayama. It was pretty tasty, but I think I like the freshly made ones that you can buy in the touristy, old style town Asakusa.

One of the pamphlets that Hitoshi-san brought back was on the traditional style garden in Okayama City, 後楽園　Koraku-en (Later Pleasure Garden）. It looks so beautiful, I can't wait to go! That is... if I can go...

Kochan! Be brave! The depths of my heart tell me that everything will work out, but it depends on you now! I believe in you and trust you completely that you will find the words to say what needs to be said, so please believe in yourself and know that love will carry you past your fears.

A Tale of Old Houses

Well, it certianly has been a while since I posted... I have been writing for my Japanese blog for language practice, but I should use this too to share my viewpoint of my experiences, right? ^_^

After being frustrated with Japan's drinking culture, I was ready to see something different... last Monday 10/9 was a holiday here in Japan (Taikukan, or Sports Day) and a day off of class. Though there was a festival at Takadanobaba near school, I didn't feel like spending the hour and half to get there. (I don't think I've mentioned that before... I live in Kawasaki-shi, kinda far from school... it takes 50 min-1hr 20mins to get to school, depending on if I time the train transfers right.)

So... with my host mother, we went to what is probably my town's only famous feature: Nihon Minkan-en, the Japan Open-Air Folk House Musuem. (Click for the website)

Traditionally styled Japanese homes are know through the world for thier unique architure. (Though I'm not an architure buff, so I don't know really WHAT is so noted...) But nowadays, there are not many craftspeople with the knowledge and skills to recreate such historic style. But thier are still some remaining homes and buildings that have withstood the test of weather, usage, and time. Those that are remaining are considered national treasures, just as the people who still practice the traditional arts of old are considered living national treasures. However, not every owner of these historically valuable homes recognized thier worth, sometimes being negligent in the care of the home. To preserve these irreplacable buildings, in 1965 my city Kawasaki-shi begain to relocate them from all over Japan to the Minka-en (民家園). They currently have 25 buildings, including a family-owned soba-ya (buckwheat noodle restaurant), shrine, and a Kabuki stage, as well as displays of tools and untensils inside the homes and buildings to illustrate the lifestyle of the people who lived in them.

Some houses you can walk almost all the way through, and some you can only look in from the outside. However, because of Japan's hot, humid summers, most of the homes have sliding doors that open to catch an occational breeze.

There was also some cultural demonstrations by voleenters, such as basket and straw shoe weaving (not easy!), traditional cooking methods (pot over a fire), and plays at the Kabuki stage. Of course, since no Japanese museum would be complete without a place to buy snacks and a drink, you can have lunch at the soba-ya (restaurant) and get a drink from the vending machine. (They're everywhere! I think the only place I have NOT seen a vending machine was at a shrine...)

These homes really have an aura of being well-used and well lived in... and died in. I think that I would NOT be able to spend a night in on of these drafty houses... many have a large space between the foundation and the floor and lots of attic space, space where more than just dust bunnies and moths haunt (＞ロ＜；）...... (hehe)

Overall, I think this open air museum is definately worth a visit.

Drinking, Money for Friends

There have been a lot of drinking "Welcome Parties" in the month that I have lived in Japan, and as fun as they can be and as stupid as they are, one thing is for sure; at 2500 yen or $25 each they really lighten the wallet.

It seems that drinking parties are intergral to the social life of the Japanese (university students, business men, housewives and friends), especially the cornocopia of Waseda's clubs and cirles. Although people do meet each other by sharing the same classes, it's more common to try to make friends by joining a club with people who you share a common interest with. But no matter what club or cirlce you're in, eventually they will have a Nomikai (drinking party) to build community spirit.

I see my host parents have a beer or a glass of wine almost every night with dinner. My Ojiisan certianly loves his strong, cold sake. Every night, coming home on the train, I see salarymen (suit and tie company employees) with red cheeks and noses, sometimes even smell it.

Japan is a drinking culture and since my mother doesn't drink much (except for Bob's martini's, right mom? ^_^) I have not been been raised in a social drinking enviroment.

Sure, sharing a drink with your buddies is cool once in a while. But these all-you-can-drink parties, especially in large clubs like Waseda International Club (WIC), border on almost frenzetic, as people try to drink as much as they can to prove thier strength, out drink each other, and make thier entrance fee worth it. But I've seen too many students so drunk they can barely stand....

What pains me is that I feel like unless I go to the nomikai's it's hard to make friends with the people I've been meeting. I call them for lunch or to go out for the weekend, but often they are busy. I joined the Waseda Illumination project which will decorate some of the campus with lights for December, since I love design and would love even more to meet different people not in WIC. I went to an introduction meeting last Thursday and afterwards they were going to have a drinking party to meet the new members. I thought "No, it's a Thursday and I have school tomorrow, I should go home." But I was halfway home when my ambigous feelings flared up, and when I got home I was angry at myself for walking away from a chance to meet people and make friends, later angry at myself for being such an impatient idiot.

They had another info meeting and party on Friday, so I made that my evening. Yes, it was fun and interesting (though I'm getting tired of giving my self-intoduction...), but the food was very average and I didn't drink much, so even though I meet some people, I ended up regretting that I hadn't been pinching my Soseki's tighter...

I think when it comes down to it, you gotta pay to make and have friends. I once hear from a friend that she didn't want to join a soriety to have to pay to have friends and in Japan, I feel the same way. I don't like going to nomikai's to pay for the opportunity to make friends.

I will keep looking for my own way of making friends without paying an arm and a leg. I've been hanging out in the WIC clubroom at lunchtime, I want to join an Aikido club, and I'll be starting a small, part-time job at Waseda's Biligual Writing Lab (the first in Japan! I didn't know they don't have these... but that's another blog).

I'm still looking for my own way... but I know I'll find it. In the meantime, Thank you for the invitation but I think I'll pass on the Nomikai, thank you.

Professors profess, not teach

I have heard two very different viewpoints about Japanese universities and classes. Some people say "Oh, wow, Waseda is a really prostegious university! Attendance is really important and the teachers give a lot of reading, so make sure you plan your study time!" The other view says "Your going to Waseda? Lucky you, Japanese university is a four year vacation, a treat after passing the hellish entrance exam and before entering the mundane work world. Students never study and have huge drinking parties every night!"

I have yet to see which is really true, but I guess that the first is an outsider's view and the second is an insider's view.

But no one has mentioned much about Waseda's level of education or the professor's teaching skill, though I've heard from friends many can barely speak English.

After today's Tranlation Studies class, I'm beginning to question the "prestigiousness" of Waseda.

The professor is Toko-san and from his looks, he can't be older than 30. He usually teachers small 10 people translation classes at the larger, Japanese-speaking literature department of Waseda and does freelance translation work. I also asked him how one becomes a university professor in Japan, and he told me that you just pass an examination to get a license. No formal training.

This is his first time teaching at the SILS branch of Waseda and first time teaching in English. Even if the room hadn't been so hot from the number of people, Toko-san still would have been sweating I'm sure.

So now this young, inexperienced teacher had been assigned to teach a class of 150 students. According to the schedule, we are supposed to turn in 6 translation assignments for our total grade. With no TA to grade translation assignments and no group work, there is no way he has time to read all those papers. Also, he has so important office responsibilites to fufill (I gather that the professors and faculty here often act as staff too), he cannot be in class at the time slot (Tuesdays, 1-2:30). So he has cancelled 2 classes a month, and moved others to Wednesdays at 6:00 pm.

There is no way I want to show up at 6. I want to be home at 7 to have dinner with my host family.

No one seemed to be asking any questions directly about this HUGE issue of schedule change (how Japanese....) so I raised my hand and complained.

And the teacher asks ME how to solve the problem. I'm not the teacher here! This is an issue of responsibility that should be solved between the professor and the university, not the students. Sure, I could think of a good way to teach this class, make it a partially online class, do more group work, more projects. But that's not my job, it's his. Why is he doing office work when he has a class of teach?

Because I don't think he's very good at teaching. He strikes me as a bookwormy guy who is more interested in using students and thier assignments as research for his PhD disertation rather than teaching students how to translate.

I wonder, if this guy is a teacher now, why can't I be a teacher now too?

At least he has lessen the translation load to compensate for class size. And he won't take roll on the 6 pm Wednesday classes. That means the requirements of the class are show up the 6 times we have class on a Tuesday at 1 and hand in 2 translations, your choice.

I feel a little bad for the guy. Obviously he has been handed a situation that he couldn't say no too (very Japanese too... They don't want to say "no" to a troublesome situation for fear of making a bad situation for someone else). But the fact that there is no grading critera and no clear syllabus or any sense of preparation for this class makes me wonder if my home campus San Francisco will count it.

My biggest wonder is the educational standards of Japanese schools... I already know that the methods for teaching English here in schools is horrible; they don't teach any conversation skills, just vocabulary and grammer concepts for taking tests.

If possible, I want to become a teacher who can raise the standards of education and the standards of teacher training.

Remember Beginnings

Recently, I realized I have been writing like an adventure novel; every time is an exciting event, a new place explored, meeting interesting people. But really, in between the exciting bits are times of sad, quiet loneliness.

When I left for Japan, I thought I realized what it meant to leave all my friends behind; to leave the life I had built for 2 years.

Now I do.

It means not having a friend to call up at the last minute to get out of your house and go somewhere. It means when school is done, and you can’t find someone you know to hang out with or a new friend to meet, you are on your own. The friends are there, but you have to find them, like searching for seashells among the sea of life’s rough waves.

The days I have plans with someone were good; something to do, somewhere to be. Even if it was an official school thing, it is ok because I know that I will meet a face I recognize and can socialize. Those days give me purpose, meaning. But the days without a plan or a friend, in an empty house because I woke up late and my host family is at school or work, those are the hard days. On those days, If I let my attitude grow dark, let gloomy thoughts like “This sucks, I have no friends,” or “Every day here is a day without my boyfriend”, if I let myself think that, I can become easily depressed.

On the days without plans and I can’t contact someone to join me, I decide to go out by myself. It’s not something I’m used to, but it’s necessary because I feel lonelier if I stay home. I go to a famous part of Tokyo I don’t know well enough yet, discover what shops and restaurants exist, go people watching, or try to have a conversation with someone. (I met a guy that I played DDR with at a game center in Shibuya on Saturday ^_^)

On the days without plans, I think “Well, maybe I’ll give myself a break today and rest, watch some anime or write my blog.” But I feel I am missing out on my study abroad life by staying home too much. I didn’t come here to Japan to sit in front of a computer and watch anime! I’m here to experience the culture and it’s people that inspired the anime! To fulfill my goal of fluency!

That is another problem I’ve discovered, my purpose in being here. For almost 2 years, I have prepared, no LIVED for this time of my life. All my thoughts about earning and spending money, every time I met a new friend, everything was about studying abroad in Japan, about getting here. I have to get to Japan, come to Japan, Japan, Japan, Japan!

So I’m here.

…Now what?

I never could have anticipated that I would feel purposeless here, with no class until today and too much free time. Japan is a love of my life, land of my dreams (and now, reality)…why have I not been enjoying everyday like a new adventure? Last years visit was like a storybook (albeit the language barrier between me and the friends I stayed with); why am I not enjoying living here as much as I did visiting??? How did I so quickly loose my wonder?

I have to remember, back to 2 years ago, when I was just leaving high school and just starting DVC. I didn’t have any close friends I could meet daily. I talked a lot on the phone to Nick, a high school friend. I came home right after school, studied Japanese like a maniac, and went to my part-time job in the evenings. I worked Friday nights and Saturdays. I watched a lot of anime, alone. I went to anime club, but even now I don’t remember who was there that first semester. I didn’t eat many meals out with friends.

I have to remember how to start a new life. I met some today who said that this is like being a freshman all over again, and she’s right. Starting anew is not easy, but I’m trying my best, and I don’t want to give up. I know I’m good at meeting new people, so I use my confidence to my advantage to make many friends. I have been SO looking forward to my Japan life that my expectations have been high; I am learning not to expect too much too fast, from myself and from others.

So, my new mottos for myself: Enjoy each new day as a new experience. Life is happening in the here and now, so mentally live in that time and place. Life is what you make of it, influenced by life’s circumstances but not governed by them. 難しいけど、ムリじゃない！”It may be difficult, but it’s not impossible!”

Today was the first day of classes and already things have begun to turn for the better. I realize I love the school atmosphere ^_^ I look forward to what I will discover in the continuous flow of the river of life.

Geek out time!

I think that I have been stifling my inner otaku for too long.... so last Saturday was the day to release the pressure and just geek out.

I hopped on a train, met a fellow CSU SF friend Robert at Shibuya, and together we travelled two hours to go to.....

TOKYO GAME SHOW 2006!


For a long time, I've heard of this open to the public event, where for the price of 1,200 yen ($12) you can test all the new and upcoming games, plus they give away tons of promotional stuff for playing. It's a giant PR event where the customers win.

















Of course, since I'm a big Final Fantasy/Kingdom Hearts fangirl, I zoomed over to the SquareEnix booth. ^_^ yay, PS3, more Kingdom Hearts games, more FF7 games to be released! I'm seriously considering buying a Japanese PS2 and some games ... maybe I don't have time to play now, but when I come back from Japan... umm, japanese practice? heheh... the PS3 isn't that special though... I don't really care sorry ^^

What's wierd is that every company's booth hires a harem of women to dress in skimpy vinyl costumes to hand out flyers... and tons of men line up and gather to take thier pictures. A little skin can still sell anything, I guess. Their were even Maid Cafes where you could play 2 player cellphone games with girls dressed up as maids at little tables on cute little chairs...


Also, I didn't know it, but this event is also a pretty big cosplay event for video game cosplayers. ^_^ I chatted with some of them to find out about cosplay events. The tall guy with the elf ears was really cool, he wasn't shy at all to talk to me... that's often a problem, since cosplay in Japan is not mainstream and the people who do cosplay are not always the most social people. I'm still searching, so maybe I'll find some good connections soon. ^_^


Oh and on the way to the place where the Tokyo Game Show is heald, you pass right by Tokyo Disneyland. It looks so cool, I can wait to go there with my boyfriend in winter....

Good soil-ed family to grow in

(picking up from where our adventures last left off, pre-spider scare...)

My first Friday in Japan, however, was the long awaited day… the day I would meet my host family! I was just excited as everyone else and maybe a little nervous too…Would I have a curfew? Would my host mom be able to cook? Do I have to sleep on a Japanese style-futon? Would I have enough closet space for all my clothes?

After a final orientation at the college and a pizza party courtesy of WIC and Niji no Kai, we made our way back to the hotel lobby to await meeting our host families

Of the 24 people in this program, about 12 chose a host family. The families came about every 10 to 20 minutes apart. They would walk in the door to be greeted by Kazaoka-sensei, while we all sat, expectant and nervous, wondering if our own turn had finally come…

Waiting, Waiting…. I thought they were going to be here at 3:30 but it’s almost 4!

Waiting…………………

But my worries were put to rest when Kazaoka-sensei finally called my name after a middle aged woman and her daughter entered the hotel lobby….

By the hand of fate (namely Kazaoka-sensei’s) I am spending my year with the Harada family in Kawasaki City, in Kanagawa prefecture, about 30 minutes from Shibuya Station, and 1 hr and 15 minutes from school.

In the car ride from the hotel to my new, year long home, I think the first impression that I had of mother Yumiko (who I call Yumi-san) was that she was very patient and understanding. My 19 year old host sister Yuri-chan is very energetic (in Japanese, 元気 genki), because she is not shy at all and loves to talk (at least that first day). We talked a lot in the car as we drove, and I think in that first conversation, I talked about my boyfriend, Cosplay, anime, why I decided to study Japanese, my family, all my Japanese friends back in America, what I might do with a degree in Japanese…. Basically all Claire things ^_^ I am me, and I can never change that, nor would I want to.

I arrived at their house and was mildly surprised… It is very western; a 3 story house with high ceilings, wallpapered wall, and a kitchen table with chairs. The first floor is the entrance way with 3 bedrooms (mine, my host parents, and Ojiisan’s), as well as a bathroom. Upstairs is the kitchen, dining room, and family room with the TV, as well as the bathroom and washing machine. The third floor is Yuri-chan’s room and her brother Shuhei’s room (he’s studying abroad in Las Vegas this year, so I don’t know much about him other than what my host family tells me, like how he’s a food connoisseur ^_^) My room is good sized, with enough closet space, a chest of drawers (I can store all my clothes!), and windows for lots of light. I also have a bed yay! Not a futon! And it’s long enough for me!

I like this house because the doorways and ceilings are not that low, like some other older houses in Japan. The shower room is nice and wide, which is nice for me because I like to pace around a bit for some reason.

I may live a bit far from school and “the life”, but I don’t mind because I don’t have to live in cramped place and mindspace. I love Tokyo, but I don’t want to always live in that and the box apartments. (They don’t call it a shower closet for nothing…) I need to keep my living space calm and quiet so that I can form a peaceful mindset after a busy, activity-filled day. When I’m out, I’m out, when I’m home, I want to feel “at home.” This is something I’ve discovered about myself…

Later that first day, I met my host father, Hitoshi (who I call Otousan) and Yumi-san father, my host grandfather (who I call Ojiisan).

But it has been over the past couple days, I’ve slowly begun to get to know my host family a little more and more. Yumi-san is a part-time English teacher at Yamaha private English school for ages 1 to adult. (The toddlers and kids usually learn though rhymes and chanting to music, and the school age and adult classes use more traditional methods, but with music. It is Yamaha after all ^_^) She is really, really, REALLY good at cooking. I’m so lucky, I wanted a host mother who could introduce me to delicious Japanese food … and I lucked out! Yumi-san also takes a hip hop dance class twice a week, and occasionally plays the music while she cleans the house. She also spent time in England when she was in college, so she loves British tea ^_^ She made me scones for breakfast twice!!! Sometimes in the morning, we share a cup of tea together over breakfast or at night after dinner

Yuri-chan is definitely an energetic, spirited young woman. She took a year off from high school to study abroad in Los Vegas. She loves ballet and is pretty good at it too it seems (on the wall of the toilet room downstairs is a poster of some famous ballet star, but instead of the star’s head, Yuri-chan’s picture is there ^_^) She has an American boyfriend named Chase who’s 22 that she met while she was studying abroad… so she completely understands my situation. (She said that she was Chased and got caught ^_^) She will be graduation from high school soon and also works part-time at a Japanese BBQ (yakitori) restaurant, so she’s pretty busy. She’s saving up money so that she can spend her Christmas vacation in Las Vegas… to see her boyfriend of course ^_^

Otou-san is in his early 50s and works in the office for a Japanese oil company. He went on an overnight business trip to Hiroshima, so maybe he has a pretty good position. He loves soccer (especially our town’s team) and volunteers at the very close by Kawasaki City soccer stadium. (When they have games there, I can hear the crowd’s cheers from my window). He seems like a gentle man who likes nature. He also spend time in New York City in college. Also, he has a black belt in …Aikido!!! Maybe he can help me with my form later…

Ojiisan is 75 but still rides a bicycle, even when a little drunk (like after going out to eat dinner). When I first met him, he asked me to guess his age, so I told him I thought he looked 50 ^_^ He said he would buy me a present for being so nice. He used to work for a plastic factory making the plastic that is used for cameras, cellphones, computers, applicances… all that stuff. I also discovered that he is good at playing the harmonica. He’s a little hard of hearing and he doesn’t speak in nice smooth sentences so it’s still hard to understanding him. But I try to greet him politely every time I see him and ask him something, just to keep open to conversation with him. Maybe sometime I can learn enough Japanese to ask serious questions about Japan’s difficult past………

Overall, I think I live in a quiet residential town not too far from “it all” with a very international family who are experienced at hosting students (this is their 6^th year) as well as being international students, and are understanding of their students various interests.

If I had chosen to live in the temple, I think I would have been VERY lonely, especially at meal times. By chance, fate, or efficient study abroad program directors, I think my life ahead of me is rooted in a good place with good support.

Now, if I can only catch up with writing this blog…….

SPIDERS!!!!!!

And who says that things in Japan come in small sizes?????????????

I was relaxing on my bed, listening to music, when something on the ceiling caught my attention:

A HUGE FAT SPIDER.

Not just big, we're talking trantula-size, except less hairy and cute. Like the size of my hand.

I couldn't even try and get close enough to squash it, it was so freaky.( Maybe I've seen too many spider monster movies..........) I tried to coax it into my small laundry hamper or then skish it with an umbrella.... no go.

Everyone was gone from the house, except the grandfather, called Ojiisan. I feel like a wimp for asking a 75 year old man for help. He also tried to skish it with tissue but that damn thing was fast and it ran from the corner to the middle on the cieling. I tried once more to futilely get it to fall into the laundry bag, but only managed to make it fall to the floor. I screamed as it skuttered around the floor and finally dove into my closet.

Oh shit. Now I can't see it. I feel like I'm one of those horror movies, knowing the monster is somewhere out there, just waiting to attack.........

I closed the closet trying to offer myself some assurance that at least it could come out.... maybe.

My host mom came home, and I told her the story. She said it's very rare for spiders to be that big.... She was searching for some spider spray when we saw it, on the wall above the enterance way. She stood on the stairs and sprayed to make it fall, and then Ojiisan got it with a tissue and sent it to a watery grave - the toilet.

After this experience, I think I hate spiders.

Tokyo hearts, Waseda Clubs and drinking!

It has been a busy couple of days. Since arriving here in Japan on Tuesday the 12^th, I’ve met my fellow CSU students, the Niji no Kai (Rainbow Club … they don’t know the gay symbolism ^^) and WIC (Waseda International Club), had 3 drinking parties, toured Shinjuku and Harajuku, met my host family, and began to get settled into my life here in Japan.

*Whew!*

Although a lot has been going on, I’m not too busy to take a break to contemplate. That is, after all, part of the reason why I’m here; to learn Japanese – the people, their way, the country, and the language.

On Thursday 9/14 we went with WIC and Niji no Kai on a short tour of Shinjuku (visiting the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building) and Harajuku (visiting the Meiji Shine and Takeshita Dori, the rock and Lolita fashion street). I was amazed by the view of Tokyo from the top of the unbelievably tall Tokyo Met. Gov building. On a clear day, you can see Mt. Fuji, but that day was NOT a clear day…it rained pretty hard ^_^

But what really stuck me was how between all the modern high-rises and apartments building that dot the Tokyo skyline, the are still the old parks, temples, and shrines. No how modern Tokyo becomes, the essence of the old traditions still remains, in one form or another. This is true not only for the city’s buildings, but also it’s people. No matter how modern or how “western” Japanese people seem to become, at the deep core of their hearts they are still traditionally Japanese. The outside of a person or city does not tell the full story of what lies deep within the heart, mind, and soul.

At the end of Thursday, the clubs put on a join Welcome party, my first introduction to Waseda student party life; in other words, drinking culture. Wow, when they drink, they drink. I’ve had quite a few parties at Raymond’s house that I thought were crazy, but we didn’t drink like these people drink. The president of the WIC club, Teru (his name means brilliance, similar to my nickname Hikaru, light) was out drinking everyone and going from table to table in our small private drinking room, loudly asking everyone in accented English, “Hey are you FANTASTIC?!” He was wearing an “I love LA” hat and a “UCLA” jacket and if you talked to him, he would tell you that he graduated from LA – that is, he finished a 1 month summer program. Yes, Teru, we know, we know, you GRADUATED. “But I DID!” he would reply ^_^ What a guy. Later, after the party and before Teru and others went to drink AGAIN at a British style pub, Teru was standing in the middle of the Waseda Club Rotary, attempting to sing the US national anthem. I can’t say I’ve heard worse, he was so out of tune ^_^

What was also interesting was the traditional way for clubs to end their festivities. Everyone gathers in a circle, holds both hands out palms up, and, following the club president’s lead, everyone claps their hands once together. I will look into where this tradition came from….

Written on the plane

Hello! This is what i wrote on the plane before coming to Japan. I should have posted this earlier but i forgot.

Claire
----------------------------------

September 11, 2006 2:46 PM (CA time)

日本にいってきます！I’m off to Japan!

As I sit here on the plane typing this, so many emotions are flying through my heart and mind, filling me and emptying me at the same time; I feel like I could laugh or cry, dance for joy that I am finally achieving my dream or shiver with loneliness as I am leaving all my important people behind…

The last couple days seem to reflect these dual (but not conflicted) feelings. The Wednesday, Thursday and Friday before I left, there were some things to do and I felt the weight of those tasks, but I just wanted to keep spending time with my boyfriend. I love him and miss him so much, even now…..

Why do I write this? Because I want to remember. So many don’t seem to remember such an important time at the beginning of a journey. But I learned long ago from literature that beginnings often foreshadow events to come. So if we are attentive to the present and remember the past, we can more adeptly direct our futures. The keys to the future lie in the past, I believe.

I want to remember the kindness that so many people have shown to me. Gifts of money, gifts of friendship, and gifts of support. I am really grateful for the wonderful dinner by the Mantei’s, the generosity of my mother that has largely afforded me this opportunity, and amazed by the huge surprise party that my DVC friends secretly planned for me. There have been so many farewell parties, I’m sure the collective well-wishing will be more than enough to last me beyond this year ^_^. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Everyone.

As much as I miss you all right now (none of the program people are sitting next to me, I feel a little friendless U.U) I also know that it is time for me to make my future. Every act and word will be recorded in the memory of some person, and I want to make sure that all memories of me will be positive ones. Just like my efforts at DVC, I want to know as many people as I can. This is different from being known by many people. To know someone is to care about them and listen to them, to be empathic and understanding. This is my goal, to be myself and in doing so, shine in the lives of others.私は光ですから、ぜったい光ります。

I continue towards my shining future...........

First Days

***Yaaaaaaaaawwwn***! ハ～ロみんな。。。今日は長かったから、今ちょっとねむいです。そして、早稲田大学な友達とたくさん日本語を話した。

すかれた～

In english, I would say "Stick a fork in me, i'm done!"

Anyways, today was the first full day here in japan. I feel like I have brought San Francisco's weather with me, because it's been cloudy and drizzlely... I have yet to see the sun here. And when it's wet like this, it makes it difficult for the people who have lots of luggage (like me hahah).

Well so yesterday, we just arrived at the airport and some of the Waseda students met us at the airport and helped get our bags onto carts. Then we rode a chartered bus for 2 hours to get from Narita to Takadanobaba, Tokyo.

On the way there, I saw Tokyo Disneyland. ^_^ it looks soooo cool i really hope to go there.

Once we arrived, there were more helpful Waseda students to help us with our bags. I was saved by a guy named Jin-kun. Without his help, there would have been NOOOO way that I could have carried my giant duffel bag by myself.

After we arrived at the hotel and moved our bags to our rooms, we had our first meal in japan...

Pizza!

Yes, that's right, i'm in japan and i'm eating pizza at Shakey's.

That's was mostly it for Tuesday... Today is where thing really started.

We had our first day of orientation and got a lot of questions answered and raised others. I haven't read the whole packet yet, so i'll wait to write about it till i do.

I can say that i have spoken more japanese in one day than i think i spoke in a month of japanese class. And it's tiring. I don't think i would have ever realized how tiring it is to just talk.

But i'm really glad that the japanese students who are helping us are patient. Without that, I may have cracked already....

oh and i had donburi for lunch ^_^ it was tasty and only 580￥. and later I found 1000￥on the floor so i got luck and didn't have to pay anything for lunch, in a way ^^

Also, may people here are suprised about my nickname and that I have a Japanese boyfriend. they ask me so many questions, it seems like they really want to meet him, i think ^_^

After a walk of waseda that included practice using the train and bus, I was interviewed for host family placement. the program leader, Kazaoka-san said that my personality is really apparent. I wonder exactly what she means by that?

Then we had a great dinner at izakaya-style restaurant. but most people cared about the alcohol... this Japanese-american girl Momo-chan had 9 drinks (mostly plum wine, umeshuu) i'm amazed how much this group drinks.

After that, we went to karaoke! yaya! it's been to long since i went, i'm glad we decided to go again ^_^

next time: i will describe the group of people who are in the program with me, and more about the program here at SILS of Waseda!

Claire

一週間後

日本に行きます！ 早いね。。。Was it really just a short while ago that I was taking summer classes at DVC??? こ れはたぶんアメリカでさいごの日記かな...and I don't know what to say anymore.... i have been talking about this moment for 2 years and now it's about to come true.... 本当に夢じゃあない？ I'm not dreaming, right? I guess i dont' know what to say....except thank you to everyone for your kind words of encouragement. Thank you to everyone who has helped me here in American and who will help me in Japan. ありがとうみんな。 This is the beginning of my long-awaited future. I will work hard, study hard, play hard, and make this the best year of my life!!!

News and A Thank You

Thank you everyone (those who has posted comments here or those who have talked to offline) for your encouraging words! The last few days have been difficult as that the eminant separation from my dearest people has been really hitting home. But the kind, encouraging words like yours help me to keep my positive attitude. I will strive to hold on to that positive attitude to face the awaiting challenges without reservation!

On the news side, my shopping list is slowly being crossed off as I purchase the items I need. This past Friday, I went to Fry's and got 2 webcams, 2 headsets (one for me and one for my family - yay for the world's most money saving invention Skype!), as well as a 1 GB Flash drive (i named it KAMINARI which means lightening in Japanese. get it? Flash drive, my name Hikaru? hahaha) and a wireless network card, handy for making my laptop more portable. I just hope that it will all work for me in Japan because hardware and network issues are NOT my speciality....

Recently, my beloved Canon PowerShot SD200 no longer desires to function for me so rather than get it repaired, I went ahead and upgraded by buying a refurbished Casio EX-S600 super slim card camera - in orange! At 6 mg resolution rather than 3, and even smaller design and a color that i can't mix up with anyone else's camera, i think it will serve my purposes well. You'll be the judge, as you will see the images on this site! It will be delivered tomorrow so i'll do some test pictures then.

Some other things i plan to do to prepare include emailing everyone i know to tell them about this blog, visiting my old high school and seeing my teacher's reactions when the find out what i'm doing, buying a warm winter coat, and having farewell dinners with my friends and family. I know a lot of people, so it's hard to give time to every equally.

Well that's all that's on my mind for now i guess. oh and my mother bought a new Dell desktop with 2 gb of RAM ^_^ it's better than my boyfriends Mac hahaha. anyways i'm off to UPS to go pick it up since i missed the shipment earlier.

So till next time........
(20 days and counting)

boyfriend, family, temple housing, & 28 days and counting

Now we are past the one month mark. Part of me asks "Am I REALLY going to Japan and not coming back for a year???" After all the hard work, is this a reality? I'm excited to go, but it's just so hard to believe that I am actually going...

As my time in America is becoming shorter, i think of meeting or spending time with my friends and family for the last time in a long while. My mother and me took a spontanious vacation to Montery, having a girls time sipping cocktails in the hotel lounge, walking on the beach, building a mermaid with seaweed hair, and going on a shopping spree at the Gilroy outlets. It sort of feels like my birthday, with my mother buying me tons of clothes and not saying "Choose one or the other, but you can't have both."

She is spending so much on me, I wonder if it is too much. I guess I am used to the attitude "If you want it, you have to pay for it." I usually pay for any new clothes I want, my bills like my car insurance and cell phone, or my contacts. But she is buying me a ton of clothes and even paid for my contacts. She even sold her old catering equipment and put the money into my fund for Japan O.O My mother's generiosity and support of my expensive ambitious is amazing. I am very thankful and glad for her.

I also have begun feel the pangs of lovesickness u.u My boyfriend took a trip to New York for the weekend while i went with my mother. I am always leaving for trips for a few days and leaving him behind... I am caught up in my event while he is left sit and think of how soon i will come back. But didn't understand how he felt until now. The moment i come home from my trip i want to go to his house and see him - but he's not there.

Is this the pain of long distance love that i face while in Japan?

*SIGH*...
(>:-<) But I am strong! I can take it! がんばります！


On another note, my International Programs office called me this week to offer me alternate housing in Japan as a sort of scholarship. They wanted to know if i wanted to live in a temple rent-free for my year abroad.

A temple O.O

I would live in a one-room, furnished apartment in a 4 story complex on the grounds of a temple. I would have to cook for myself in a shared kitchen on the 4th floor and the bathroom was shared. I also would have to sweep some of the temple grounds and dust and vaccum a room of the temple.

...would i be Kagome from Inuyasha??

But I also heard that this was really independant living without much interaction from the students or the temple people. I really want to have daily interaction and have to communicate with other Japanese. It is really nessecary for me to improve. Also, I'm hoping for a nice Japanese mother who will cook me delicious Japanese food ^_^ And if you know me and how long it takes me to get around to cleaning my own bathroom (like a week after my mom says "Clean your bathroom!!!" hahah.....) let alone someone else's cleaning...... So i turned the offer down.

It would be nice to know what my housing situation will be (i don't know yet...) but i don't mind.

Well, back to cleaning my room and putting away all my new clothes ^_^ Till, next time....

28 days and counting..........

5 weeks and counting....

...and I think that i have really begun to get into the "mover's mindset".

This is the increasing thoughts such as "Oh i should get rid of some of the stuff i have so that i don't have to store it" or "Oh i'm not going to be able to take this with me, i'm going to have to buy a new one there" or "Oh i might not be able to buy this there, i should stock up now or remember to as a relative to send me more later."

Just this morning as i was arising from the depths of sleepy dreamland to the static, broken chorus of music being blasted from my alarm clock, I found myself thinking, "Oh hey i'm going to have to buy a new clock when i get to Japan, i wonder if it will be able to pick up good radio stations in Japan..."

Yesterday, while drying my hair as I was getting out of the shower, i thought, "I wonder if i should take my hairdryer with me...? Oh no wait, when i took it last year it really didn't work well, it was so weak because of the voltage difference."

I think travelling and especially long term travels begin not when you pack that suitcase and hop on that plane, but when your mindset has changed.

My body may be sitting here at work typing this blog (don't tell them i'm not working ^_^) but my mind is sipping a milk tea and eating a curry pan, walking the streets of Asakusa.

5 weeks.... 5 weeks.......

Schools out!!!

Ahhh! Finally! As of today, I have offically completed my lovely junior college years at Diablo Valley College.

The past 6 weeks I have been taking my final required classes to complete my transfer to San Francisco State University, an English lit class and a pyschology class. i wouldn't have had to take the english class if i had only taken a critical thinking english class instead of a critical thinking sociology class >.< doh! but oh well, i have enjoyed both classes, even though it has ment a lot more writing.

true to fashion i am adored by every english teacher i have (except for that bitchy woman in high school... i hated her so much). I don't know why English teachers seem to consider my writing mild genious... i think it's ok most of the time, sometimes i'm impressed with what I have created. just like my art, though i haven't done that in a long while.

What has been really interesting though is that because of the massive heat wave that has hit my area (120'F!), there have been some massive electrical problems at my school so they cancelled ALL classes for two days. Two days, and this is supposed to be finals week! I didn't care though, because my pysch class ended on that day and the teacher Pitner emailed us and told us that he had to leave town and would all just get As on the final! ehehe, Paul Pitner you are an awesome man.

With my mind no longer on DVC or English work, hopefully i can refocus on preparing for studying abroad and studying Japanese.

Ganbarimasu~!

Another hurdle cleared

So after months of waiting, this study abroad process (ha! maybe circus!) is getting less nebulous and more certain... i really, officially am going to Japan, and now i am really, offically a student of Waseda University ^_^ yes!

This letter helps me get my visa from the japanese consulate... helps, but doesn't make it easier. I had a bit of a run around on Friday trying to get everything done... i don't know why, but they want a picture of you with a white background and no smiling... i guess government is a serious business and no time or place for happiness. just look at the DMV people ^_^

I also opened my CitiBank account that i will use in japan. me and my mom open one together so it will be easier for her to send money. hopefully my host family will be near an Citibank atm (i hear there is one in Ginza) so that i don't have to go to so much trouble to get money.

The more "offical" things like getting this letter or opening the account get done the more i feel like my trip, no not trip, 日本に新しい生活 (new life in Japan), is coming quickly... i went to a japanese grocery store this weekend and i bought nothing, not even my favorite ミルクティー(milk tea), thinking, "this is overpriced, i'll be in japan soon anyways."

huh. so soon... it's really coming, and it's coming soon........

i look forward to it, but am not overlooking the good times i am still in the process of making here at home.

Every New Beginning Is Some Other Beginnings End

...So says the band Third Eye Blind . You can take a step forward to the future without leaving something behind.

I am stepping forward to my future, a future that is sure to be at least in part in Japan.

what am i leaving behind...? Family, friends, my boyfriend, my junior college DVC, a way of life that i have know for 20 years, my dependency, and hopefully my misconceptions and sterotypes.

...and i'll probably forget to take some things with me, like enough socks or patience ^_^

So welcome to my Blog, A Twist of Fate. This is ment to chronicle my life for my upcoming year aboad in Japan studying at Waseda Universty in Tokyo, and beyond. By recording my life, both in writing and in pictures i want to better understand myself, my environment, and those who affect me.

They say that these are the best years of your life. Maybe, maybe not. But no matter what happens i want to remember them, and make them memories to never regret.

So, to my shining future...Cheers and Kanpai!