Realizations

~Originally written July 2010~

I've often thought to myself, "Why am I here i Korea? What am I aiming at creating by being here?" Even though nearly a year has past me by, these thoughts still come to me. Even though my life in Korea is excellently enjoyable, events that have occurred in my life here have simply fallen in my lap. I have not really been the instigator of change in my life.

I was riding home on the subway, thinking about these kinds of thinks and thinking of past desires, the former vision of my future - becoming an English teacher in Japan, marrying my Japanese boyfriend, having Japanese-American kids- and suddenly it struck me. "This is the Claire without Japan."

There was a time about 4 years ago, when somebody asked me "What is the Claire without Japan?" At that time, I made my passion for Japan my everything. My entire self-identity was endlessly entwined with my love of Japan. I sincerely and honestly believed that I needed to change myself, subdue my passionate personality for a boy to love me. I sincerely and honestly believed that I needed to emulate a culture and a people to be loved by them.

In my year in Japan, I realized the ugly truth - the ideal I'd subscribed to was not "me" and as much as I loved Japanese culture, trying to be Japanese was not being "me".

I think at that time (probably from when I was in DVC at 18 to at SFSU at 22 years old) I was acting as "me" but the things I thought I wanted for myself (a Japanese boyfriend, the search for self-affirmation from people I barely knew and who barely knew me) was misguided. I wanted to impress others with a special skill they could not easily attain. I wanted to set myself apart from others by making the unusual choice to reach outside of my comfort zone .

...even now, I made the choice to come to a new country with a difficult language and radically different cultural rules and norms. Though I've managed to adapt and learned to speak a good deal of Korean, the transition has not been easy.

But... I have obtained that niche I have always sought. I am a fluent English speaker with skills in Japanese and even Korean. The important thing is that I now realize the parts that are "me"... and that as my life changes, I will continue to change. For the better, I hope.

Korean Bus Drivers do WHAT?!?!

It was normal commute to work on Thursday morning - the crowded stuffy bus, the driver taking off like he was at the F1 after each stop and overtaking other slower buses, the gridlocked traffic, and the LOOOONG traffic light 200 meters before my stop. But as we pulled up to the notorious light, the driver did something I never would have expected... in the middle of major thoroughfare , he opened the door, hopped out of the bus with it's engine still running, stood in front and proceeded to light up a cigarette!

My jaw dropped to the ground. I turned to the Korean lady sitting next to me and she was also looking out at the bus driver, though rather disinterestedly. I couldn't communicate my shock into Korean, so I simply pointed outside with a expression of shock on my face. She simply shrugged as if to say "It happens all the time." How can behavior so irresponsible be regarded as average and ordinary???

I walked into worked and retold my tale of the morning's episode to my Korean co-teacher Jaemin. She barely batted an eyelash, shrugging it off much like the Korean lady on the bus. "How can you take this kind of thing so casually?!" I exclaimed. "It's really dangerous for a driver to get of the bus in the middle of the road, not to mention he's in the middle of working and he's suddenly taking a break for a smoke!" Jaemin looked up at me nonchalantly. "Bus drivers' have a kind of special privilege. Their job is very stressful, so nobody really bothers to consider this kind of thing worth noticing. Plus, they know how long the light is, so they'll get back on the bus in time." I couldn't believe everyone seemed to consider this kind of dangerous irresponsibility to be excusable. Is everyone above the law if they find the right excuse? Maybe this was an isolated incident....

I was to be proven wrong. On my way home and at the same light except on the opposite side of the street, what does the bus driver do but open the door and hop off the bus for a smoke!! This can't just be a coincidence... Below is photographic evidence. The first pic is from the morning and the other 3 are from the afternoon, showing the obviously empty driver seat.

Blog readers, what do you think? Is this practice common in other countries? Have you ever heard of this happening in America or Japan?

Fan, Friend, or Interpreter? (Part 1)

Three or four weeks ago, I had a rare Wednesday night-out in nightclub-town Hongdae with my Korean friend Seolak to see a live of a Korean band called Achtung. Neither of us knew of the band , but the music was smooth and upbeat acoustic indie rock and the concert (with a totally packed house) was pretty energetic. The lead singer even spoke and sing a decent amount of English. I liked it enough to buy a CD and I listened to it on my Ipod pretty frequently.

About two weeks later I was back in Hongdae on a Friday with another group of friends, Lukas from Czech and Wiyen from Malaysian. We were searching the labyrinth of Gold Bar I, Gold Bar III, and Ho Bar I to VI for some dance club, when Lukas paused to read a sign. “Hey, they have some German band playing at this club. Hmmm, I've never heard of Achtung...” I stopped dead in my tracks. In blind excitement I dragged everyone inside. The show was almost over, but the audience of kept calling for encores. I added my own shouts in English and it was enough to attract the lead singer Cho Seung-Yup's attention. “Hey, I know you...”, he called out. “And I know you!” I replied. He strummed his guitar and absentmindedly crooned out a tune. “I know you... you know me...”, till suddenly he seemed to realize he was still on stage and apologized to his audience, drawing giggles from Korean girls. While he continued into the next song, my heart melted in my chest like hot butter– he'd just serenaded me!!!

After he got off the stage and came round the bar, I approached him and told him how much I deeply enjoyed his music. I asked him if I could buy his second album and... could I buy him a drink? (Yes, this is the first time I have ever bought a drink for a man.)
I had a fairly good time chatting with him about music, his influences, and his inspirations... turns out Seung-Yup knows many of my favorite bands like Counting Crows and he's a big fan of U2. I think it's very rare to meet a musician who doesn't mind socializing with audience members after a show... too many artists seem to want to keep some distance. But we all had a good enough that midnight came and went, we left the first club and changed locales in search of food and coffee, and it's was 3am before anyone mentioned about going home. Though my friends and I considered crashing at a jimjilbang (a public bathhouse with a communal resting space – not for a good night's sleep by any means) Seung-Yup offered to spare us the trouble and give us a ride home in his car! Driving through Seoul in the early dawn hours along the Han River Highway, with none of the usual traffic other than a few rouge taxi drivers, Czechoslovakian Lukas singing along to Bollywood parodies of Christmas songs, sitting in the car of my new favorite band's lead singer- this is a memory which will be forever imprinted into my mind. Life is strange and beautiful.

After dropping Lukas off, Seung-Yup and I chatted a bit and I told him I want to try and become a singer. I sung him my best version of Cowboy Bebop's “Real Folk Blues” and he seemed appreciative, saying (perhaps half-jokingly) that I could possibly sing for Achtung. We exchanged phone numbers and he promised to call me about meeting up again.

Well... tonight was that meeting....
...and I'm too tired tonight, so the story will continue tomorrow (^^;;)

Darker SIde of Teaching in Korea

I was surfing ELT forums looking for lesson ideas when I discovered this post. The topic was about renewing for another year:

I have a sweet job that I am leaving in a boys middle school and my wife has the same in another boys middle school. Comes complete with a very nice two bedroom apartment for which we pay NO utilities.
EPIK, or anyone, can have it. We are done with the xenaphobia, hate, racism, and irresponsibility of a culture that cannot grow up and make it to the twentieth century, let alone the twenty first.
We are going to Myanmar to work in an international school for half the pay, we are at the top of the EPIK pay scale, but way more job satisfaction and a much better quality of life.
Put it this way, five years here, a school that loves me, the head of the local POE told them to do anything to keep me, yet I did not even get a raise when I renewed, even to the mythical EPIK 1+ scale, not even brought up, utter dreck.
Trust me, there are many who feel as we do and many more who are leaving. As long as Korea remains mired in the Confusian culture that treats non-Koreans as second class citizens with no rights, who are vilified in the press and on the news, and have no respect for laws, contracts, and just plain common courtesy people will be leaving the country and jobs will be open.
As long as Korea requires nothing more than a B.A. (how stupid is that) to teach their children, they will suffer the dubious distinction of being 191st in the world on TOEIC scores, with a population that cannot innovate, think critically, and communicate effectivly in the English.
To put it bluntly, the Korean public school system is losing two teachers, with over ten years experience between them, teaching creds., and CELTAs becuase they treat us like cattle.
If you want to come here, please do, its a nice life for a while, but when the real Korea shows through, as it eventually will, the boredom, hate, and stupidity will reach in and grab you and you will wonder why you ever got off the plane at Incheon.
http://forums.eslcafe.com/korea/viewtopic.php?t=180417

I've heard all this from other sources and from my own experiences too. My co-worker refers to anyone who is not Korean as a foreigner and often asks me questions that begin like "Do other foreigners also do _______?" Unlike this man, I don't have such larges amount of credentials or experience but I do feel how the administration doesn't take my complains or requests very seriously.

These days I'm thinking more seriously about how long I want to stay here. And at the very least, I'm glad I'm not Korean so I have the option of leaving.

Blurring Gender Lines

What is to be handsome? What is makes a man a man? It may not be common knowledge that the ideals of "manliness" do not hold true for all countries. In Seoul, I've spotted quite a few examples of men behaving in ways that men back home wouldn't be caught dead doing.

Take Evidence #1: Pink Cellphone

This lovely shade of princess pink is not a color an average American Joe Smith would likely choose. I will continue to investigate further as to why pink is not a taboo color for men.

Evidence #2: Make-overs at Manskin Men's Beauty Shop

This isn't for a photo shoot or a television appearance. This is taken at a shop entirely devoted to men's skin health and beauty. And from some of the smiles he gave the camera, he seems to be enjoying it....

American men, pay attention~!!! You too can powder you nose a bit and cover up your unsightly pimples!

Evidence #3: Male Manicure

This was shocking even to my Korean friends. A Korean couple are getting a manicure TOGETHER. Korean couples have a very strong "togetherness" factor. They tend to cling to each other like 2012 is tomorrow. My guess is that she talked him into buffing up his nails.

Conclusion:

Concern for a man's beauty is more of a health consideration and has nothing to do with being "feminine". Overall, Koreans seem to place great value on health and hygiene so there isn't anything "gay" about caring for your health.

The pink cellphone though... that's just way out there.

Peace~

Claire

Rare Connections

Last Saturday I joined a regular meet up with a social club Climbing in Korea for a trip down to Taebak Mountain area for the widely publicized snow festival. Though the city sponsored event was depressingly below expectations (all the snow had melted and refrozen into treacherous ice, they charged fees for attractions on top of an entrance fee, it was more crowded than a Tokyo subway at rush hour), I did get to meet and talk with some new people. If you're a hardworking Korean with an average 10 hour work day and 6 day work week (and no overtime pay), an active social life is difficult to create and maintain. Rather than meet your friends for dinner and drinks every day after work like many Seoulites, I prefer hiking and sports groups as a way to break away for the stuffy, boxy office buildings and remember what nature looks like.

On the Saturday trip to Taebak Mountain, I ended up talking to my neighbor John on the bus, a forty-somethings British guy teaching business English at an academy offered by the British Council. Unlike the average “Native Speaking English Teacher” in Korea, (a fresh grad with almost no life experience, a resident of North America, tall, white, fair skin and eyes because Korean employers prefer a “foreign” non-Asian appearance), John is a former high school teacher and very knowledgeable about literature. Not since I finished my Intro to Science Fiction class and graduated in May, I haven't had an intelligent conversation about literature. Most Koreans don't read storybooks to study English; they memorize grammar rules and word lists to prepare for SAT, TOIEC, and a shitload of English aptitude tests. They judge their achievement by test scores, which rarely ever accurately measure their communicative ability. Competition for educations and jobs is fierce in Korea, and tests scores are unfortunately highly valued for measuring aptitude for everything.

I chatted on and off with John my bus buddy about our favorite books and the different required texts for UK and USA. They read a lot of Shakespeare 1984 but not A Brave New World, Lord of the Flies, or Catcher in the Rye. I talk a bit to my neighbors to the left and behind me too. The conservative seeming guy in his 30s named Kim Sihyung turned out to have one of the most interesting job descriptions I've heard to date: Crash Test Technician for Hyundai Motors. Wow... I mean, wow..... how cool is that?? I asked him if he likes to drive. He replied he dreads to drive in Seoul, a city famous for it's reckless drivers.

I'd introduced myself to Chong Hee, a 20ish Korean girl sitting behind me on the bus, but our conversation had been shorter than a matchstick with a spark which seemed to die as quickly. But near the end of the bus ride on the return trip home, she was collecting contact info from Sihyung and others in the rip and she asked for mine as well. I reluctantly replied that I'd give it to here if she was actually going to contact me someday. Though I knew it would be rude I wanted to be honest so I told her this truth of mine. I've had too many people, Koreans and Japanese, who want to “make a foreigner friend” to practice English, ie use me for free English lessons with a flimsy promise of language exchange. She was a little taken aback by my rather harsh response, but she promise to contact me so we ended up exchanging phone numbers.

When I asked Chong-Hee where she lived I was in for a shock; turns out she lives in the apartment complex adjacent to my school, Moondeok Elementary – the same school she used to attend as an elementary student 10 years ago!!! Talk about coincidences! The chance connection was enough to convince me she was someone worth knowing.

Fast forward to Thursday; I responded to a polite mail from Chong-Hee had sent (Hello, it was nice to met! Let's keep touch!!) and met her for coffee after work. What do you know, our was of connection grew exponentially! She chose to study medicine so she could easily get a green card and go to the US, a lot like more own mother. She studied abroad in SoCal and has visited SF and Tokyo. She even studying English at the same language school where I'm studying Korea!

More important for me, she turned out to be a really strong willed and actively engaging person, though characteristically polite by defering to give me a direct opinion on any topic.

Most remarkable moment in hanging out was the chance to offer insight in the difficulties of cultural miscommunications and their affect on developing relations between Asians and Westerners.. Chong-Hee told me it was difficult to become close with forienger friends because they often never replied to her mails. It's a common practice in Korea (and Japan) after meeting or spending time together with a friend to send a polite mail to thank them for the good time. I told her many Americans would read that mail and say “Oh that's nice, but what does she want from me...?” Without a clear plan to meet or a reason to meet each other, the initial connection dies fast. Koreans and Japanese almost always offer a name or business card as a polite formality of self-introductions.

Also interesting was a moment when my boyfriend Gi-Hyun called me while I was talking to Chong-Hee. We talked for a bit and he asked to speak to my new friend. When I hung up, I asked her what he'd said. “He asked me to take care of you.” This was very strange to my ears at first and I responded with annoyance. Take care...?? I'm an adult, why should anyone take care of me? But I remembered this is Asia and co-dependence upon each other, mutual interdependence, is key to developing close relationships. If you always do everything on you own, without following the group, you can never be close to anyone in Korea.

I explained these conflicts of American values of self-reliance and individualism against Korean values of interdepence and collectivism to Chong-Hee she was throughly shocked. She'd lived in the US for a year, but she said she felt now she didn't know America at all, vowing to studying American culture.

No, I replied. Dont study it, Korean style. Don't buy a book and memorize a list of facts and dates. Live it, experience it, know it, and you'll LEARN and KNOW.